A Night at the Kershaw :: Eliza & Prof Higgins
by Lady Kerby
Summary: Part 2 of the ANATK Series. Lizzie and Red are facing issues with Tom and the truths behind the night of the fire.
1. Bad Dreams

_Lizzie was sitting in the second row of a magnificent theatre. In front of her sat a group of people. She could tell that it consisted of two little girls and two men. The only face she could see clearly was that of the little brunette girl sitting directly in front of her. She was squirming excitedly, turning around and waving at Lizzie, her brown curls bouncing with every move. The lights dimmed, and the performance began. A beautiful ballerina danced onto the stage, but Lizzie couldn't make out the dancer's face. The little girl leaned over to one of the men and exclaimed, "LOOK! It's mommy!" The man tried to calm her, his voice was distorted, and all Lizzie could make out was "Sweetheart". Suddenly there was a loud *POP* and a spark of light. Lizzie jumped, covering her head with her hands. When she looked up again, she was surrounded by debris and flames, but couldn't feel the heat. She looked around desperately and the theatre was in total shambles around her. She heard an ear piercing scream, and saw the brunette girl kneeling next to one of the men, whose back looked like it was on fire. The girl was begging for help. Lizzie tried to grab the girl but couldn't reach her. The man groaned and struggled to his feet, somehow managing to pick up the little girl and stumble through an opening in the wall, despite the apparent damage to his back ..._

Elizabeth Milhoan woke up, screaming, drenched in sweat and unconsciously massaging the scar on the inside of her right wrist. It had been years since she'd had nightmares about the fire. She had never really known where the dream had come from in the first place, but it had started when she was very young. It had resurfaced again in the last few weeks and was occurring more and more lately. Each time, the events were slightly different, but the one constant was the little brunette girl. Lizzie could always see her clearly, and the same man saved her every time, the man whose back was on fire, his face always hidden from Lizzie's view. On this particular morning, she woke with a strong desire to know more about that man, someone who would surely have scars on his back, if he were in fact real.

Lizzie had gone through a great deal of therapy after the abuse from Tom. She had asked the doctor about the dream, and been told her that dreams like that were usually a result of a trauma as a child. She couldn't remember any fire, and memories of her early childhood were spotty at best. The earliest memory she could recall was going to a cabin with her father, Sam Milhoan, the summer she turned eight. It was a summer she would never forget. He taught her how to fish and swim in the lake nearby. She could vaguely remember the other people that were present, but the memories that she had of her and Sam were crystal clear.

Raymond Reddington came tearing through her bedroom door in just his undershirt and boxers, pale as a ghost. "Lizzie! what's wrong? Are you okay?" He paused and then came and sat down next to her on the bed.

"I'm okay, Red. It's just that stupid dream again. I don't know where it's coming from or why I'm having it so much lately. It's driving me nuts. Maybe it's just stress?" She shook her head, throwing the blankets back and crossing her arms like a pouting child. He placed his hand on her thigh; this was his subtle way of trying to calm her after the nightmares. He had learned over the last few months not to try and coddle her after one of these episodes. She had told him about the dream and he always appeared to be uncomfortable when she mentioned it. Over the last few weeks she just referred to it as 'the dream' and left it at that. He patted her leg, before getting back up.

"Would you like to shower first? Or shall I take the honor?" he said, smiling grandly.

"Go ahead. It's all yours this morning. I think I want to go for a run before we have breakfast and head out. I need to get rid of some of this anxiety." She hopped out of bed and began to gather her running clothes together.

"Sounds good. Do you want Dembe to go with you?" he asked.

He had been very protective after Tom had destroyed her apartment six months ago. She'd been very lucky that she was with Red that night, or she would have surely ended up severely injured or even dead. Unbeknownst to Red, she'd found out that Tom had cost the owners of the apartment building over a half of million dollars in damages. Her apartment was not the only place he'd caused chaos to that night; he did major damage to the back of the building with his car as well. Red had taken care of the costs, despite her protests when she eventually discovered what had happened.

"I'm good, thanks though. I won't be long. I promise." She smiled. She knew he was going to have Dembe Zuma follow her from a distance anyway. He did every time, and there was just no getting around that.

Before leaving the room, he walked over to her and placed a kiss on the top of her head saying, "As you wish, my dear."

She changed quickly, grabbed her iPod and headed out for her run through Central Park. The specific route that she'd mapped out, allowed her to enjoy the perfect weather, the sight of cherry blossom trees and rose bushes; her vintage playlist blaring in her ears, granted her the opportunity to completely clear her mind from the night's frustrating dreams, despite still having that nagging urge to know who the mysterious man was.

Days like today made her miss her father, Sam Milhoan, even more. He'd died five years ago, in October, from aggressive lung cancer. It was difficult for her to process; he'd been the only family that he'd ever known. She was unsure of all the details or, indeed, the timeline, but she knew that Sam had adopted her after her birth parents died in an accident when she was five years old. Some of her favorite memories were when Sam told stories of being in the theatre. He would tell her about the shows that he'd done, the actors he had the pleasure of working with, and how he loved working with his best friend 'Ray' She would have loved to have the opportunity to meet his friend, and learn all she could about her father. Between Sam's stories and seeing _My Fair Lady_ on Broadway, she fell in love with the theatre; it was like it was in her blood, like it was meant to be. She wished that Sam could see her now; a rising actress in a fantastic theatre, playing opposite the famous Raymond Reddington. She was pretty sure, that Sam wouldn't approve of her growing relationship with Red though. She could hear him now. _Liz this man is old enough to be your father. He's almost as old as I am. What could you possibly see in him?_ As far as Sam was concerned, there was no man good enough for her. Up until now, Sam had been the only man in her life that ever showed her what it meant to be loved.

There were so many unknown factors in her life, her childhood being the main one. Since his death, she felt that the answers to the burning questions she had, perished with him. The day Sam died, he'd called to talk, she could tell there was something he wanted to say, but he never did. That last phone call came back to haunt her.

" _Listen butterball, this twelve year old oncologist, when she's done with her martini, wants to run more tests. It's under control. I'm fine."_

" _You're gonna be fine, daddy. I know that. I love you."_

" _I love you, too, butterball."_

She loved his little nicknames for her, butterball being her favorite. She tried to shake the memories and set her thoughts determinedly on the day ahead. Today was the day that Red would announce the new production for the Kershaw Theatre, ending their six-month hiatus. Red had decided, with the theatre's newfound success, it was time for a facelift, updating the entire interior and upgrading the lighting, audio and security systems. She felt that by living with Red, it would allow for certain privileges, but as much to her dismay he was being infuriatingly tight lipped. No matter how much she continued to probe him for any breadcrumbs, he refused. She knew there was a method to his madness, but she was beginning to get antsy.

Her run felt off today. She'd been down this path countless times in the past, but lately she'd noticed that there were three men that appeared to be on the same benches every time she was out. _Hmm, I swear I saw that guy when I first started today. Am I being followed?_ she wondered. After everything that she'd been through with Tom, she knew she should be more cautious and observant, but she put so much trust in the fact that she knew that Dembe was behind her. He could, and would, spring into action at a moments notice if she needed him to.

It was Dembe's large, strong hand on her shoulder that made her scream. She knew that he followed her at a distance, but he'd never been that close to her, at least not on the run itself.

"Elizabeth, we need to go home, now." he said with worry in his face and voice.

"Why Dembe? I'm not even half way done?" she protested.

"Now, Elizabeth. It's not safe!" It was practically a command now.

She sighed and they headed home.

As they got to their floor Dembe gave her a message for Red. "Tell Raymond that there were 'complications' and I will be by as soon as I clean up."

She walked through the door, slamming it behind her and kicked off her shoes before heading to the kitchen. " _I hope the rest of the day gets better than the morning has been."_ she muttered to herself.


	2. You Make Me Feel So Young

Red heard the door close as Lizzie left, and he called Dembe. "She just left for a run. Keep a distance this morning; it was a bad night again. I want a report of any changes when you get back. And Dembe … Thank you." He hung up and headed to the bathroom. He flipped on his mp3 player and turned on his jazzy playlist. He got into the shower, and with the hot water streaming down his scarred back, he allowed himself to get lost in the music. A Frank Sinatra song came through the speakers. His thoughts drifted off, landing on Lizzie, as they always did.

 _You make me feel so young_

 _You make me feel like spring has sprung_

 _And every time I see you grin_

 _I'm such a happy individual_

She made his aging body of fifty-four feel young. When he was with her, he felt like he was in his twenties again, especially when they went dancing at the jazz clubs. That was one of the countless things that he loved about her, the fact that they enjoyed so many similar activities. Her smiles, her laughs, made his heart leap and melt all at the same time. She made him forget that they were adults with very real responsibilities.

 _The moment that you speak_

 _I wanna go play hide-and-seek_

 _I wanna go and bounce the moon_

 _Just like a toy balloon_

 _You and I, are just like a couple of tots_

 _Runnin' across a meadow_

 _Pickin' up lots of forget me nots_

He was falling in love with her, and had been since the first week they worked together. He couldn't recall falling this hard for his first wife, Carla. They had both been so young when they first met, but their relationship had started much like the one with Lizzie. He met her during his time producing _Swan Lake_ for the Fulcrum Production Company. She was a young beautiful ballerina, with so much promise and talent. They were married a short time later, and then she became pregnant with their daughter, Jennifer. He'd felt like his life was finally complete back then; like nothing could possibly go wrong. Then, all at once, his life changed; in an instant he lost everything. The night of that fire. It scared him most days; that he was going to lose Lizzie like he'd lost Carla. She and Jenny had both been taken from him far too young. They were simply, tragically, in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 _And even when I'm old and grey_

 _I'm gonna feel the way I do here today_

 _Because you, you make me feel, so_

 _You make me feel so_

 _You make me feel so very young!_

He was hoping that this time, with Lizzie, would be his opportunity to finally have someone to grow old with. After everything he'd been through in the last twenty-six years, he felt he finally deserved it, a second chance with life and with love. He chuckled at his hopelessly romantic thoughts, and finished up with his shower.

He stood in front of the mirror a bit too long staring at and feeling his scars. The painful memories of that night came flooding back. He could still hear Lizzie's screams for help, ringing in his ears, as his back caught fire. He could vaguely remember her laying her coat over him to smother the flames, and how the embers caught her wrist. Regardless of how much time had passed, the memories were as clear as the day it happened. He would never forget that night. He knew that he was going to need to talk to Lizzie about the events, especially now that the dreams, or nightmares rather, were becoming more frequent. He made a mental note to call Dr. Orchard and get Lizzie a therapy appointment.

It was the slamming of the front door that snapped, and scared, him out of his daze. Lizzie was back from her run. " _That was quick this morning. She usually takes more time than that,"_ he muttered to himself. As he exited the bathroom he swung open the armoire, perusing the clothing choices. He opted for his usual expensive, impeccably tailored three-piece suit. This particular one was brand new and navy in color; he matched it with a crisp white shirt, a deep red patterned Zegna tie, and a charcoal herringbone plaid five-button vest. He wondered if Lizzie would notice that this was the new suit that he'd refused to show her, when he brought it home a few weeks ago.

As he emerged from his bedroom he saw Lizzie standing at the counter with a glass of orange juice. He threw his suit jacket over the barstool, rolled up his sleeves up and grabbed the apron from the hook on the wall to begin making breakfast.

"How was your run, sweetheart? It was a bit short today."

"Well, after Dembe drug me back home, he gave me a message. He said to tell you that there were some … complications. He'll come by after he cleans up." She finished the last of the juice, before continuing, "Do I have time for a shower before breakfast?" She grabbed a strawberry from the bowl he pulled from the fridge, and popped it in her mouth, before he had a chance to set it down on the counter.

"Well, if you go now, I just might have something left to serve, unless you want to continue eating straight from the serving dishes? I'm sure I can arrange that if you would like, otherwise, run off and take your shower." he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Yes 'daddy'," she said in a snarky tone. She walked up to him, gave him a quick kiss to his cheek and bounced off to her room to shower.

He hated it when she used that tone, and especially the word 'daddy'. It made him sick to his stomach. He knew she was kidding, but when she used that word, the whole age issue came back to haunt him. He was twenty-three years her senior, and many times caught himself feeling guilty for the feelings that he had for this alluring woman. She'd been mistaken for his daughter, too many times, when they had been out together. It never appeared to bother her, at least she'd never shown or said if it did. He shook it off and continued to make breakfast.

Dembe let himself in and sat at the breakfast bar. "Raymond, we have a problem."

Red looked up from his task, and set down the knife. "Good morning Dembe. What seems to be the dilemma?"

"I'm not sure if Elizabeth has noticed it yet, but there is a group of at least three men who sit in the exact same spots throughout her run. Today the first man moved and followed behind her at a distance. I'm concerned, Raymond.. If they have moved this close, they must know that she's staying here," Dembe reported.

"Have you seen Tom at all?" Red asked, picking the knife back up and continuing his task.

"No, not yet. These men though, I heard one of them speak today; he was speaking German. Is it possible that Keen and these men are working for the Clandestine Company?" Dembe asked, sounding deeply concerned.

"It's possible. They have been meddling in the Kershaw's business for the last five years. They have gone to great lengths to ensure its financial demise, despite the money I continue to invest in it. They must be getting desperate, thinking I'm going to divulge the information on the 'Fulcrum' incident. I've been wondering about this Meera Malik girl that Cooper hired to do marketing and publicity; she's working for another theatre company, but I haven't been able to find out which one. I've let it slide for now, due to her talents, but we need to get a tail on her. I don't trust her, something isn't right with her." Red was trying to work through his own ideas and speculations. "We need to beef up the security detail as well. Get a hold of Baz … explain the situation and see what he recommends; ask if he can bring in Elliot Spencer as well."

"Who's Baz?" Lizzie's question cut Red's conversation short.

"How was your shower, Lizzie? I hope there was enough hot water for you?" Red responded, half hoping that Lizzie wouldn't come back to the Baz issue. He tried to keep some of the finer details of his business dealings from her because he felt she didn't need to know everything. Not yet at least.

"There was plenty, thank you." She walked over to the island where Red was cutting fruit and started snacking from the cutting board. "Nice attempt to change the subject. So who's this Baz guy … and is he cute?" she joked, giggling and jabbing Red in the ribs.

Red knew that she wasn't going to drop the subject, so he indulged her line of questioning, but not before asking one of his own. "Lizzie, have you noticed anything different lately, while on your morning runs? "

"Mmhmm. I have. There are some familiar faces at the park," she said, nonchalantly.

"You've noticed?!" Red exclaimed, surprised. _Why hadn't she said anything? Didn't she see what was wrong with this? If Tom is involved in anyway, which I suspect he is, she could be in even more danger._ he thought to himself. "Why the hell didn't you say anything, Lizzie?! Are you really that careless?" He slammed the knife down, startling Lizzie and Dembe.

"No, I'm not that careless, Red! I know that you send Dembe to tail me every time I leave. I'm not stupid and I know that you are trying to protect me." She paused, sighing loudly like a bratty teenager. "Has Dembe even told you that I never come in or out of the front entrance of our building?" Red looked at Dembe in surprise, then back at Lizzie, who continued, "I didn't think so! As far as those jerks are concerned, I live about a block away. I sneak out the back of our place, run down the alley and through the service entrance of The Greens, then out their front door. Let's just say I've paid the doorman, Hardison, there quite handsomely for his silence. Over there he thinks my name is Ginger." Lizzie laughed, proud of herself, while striking a pose. "I always return the same way."

Red was impressed, and concerned, with her deception. He hoped that she would never try to dupe him as well. A smile grew across his face, and she mirrored it.

"Well then, Dembe, were you aware of this?" Red asked.

"To be honest, Raymond, no. As she finishes each run I hang back to ensure that no one has followed her to the building." Red felt bad for doubting his friend, he wasn't trying to accuse him of not doing his job, but he was concerned that Dembe hadn't noticed something this simple.

Red finished preparing breakfast and the three of them ate in companionable silence. Today, Red had chosen something light and quick: a fresh fruit salad, toasted English muffins, and yogurt. He tried to keep things healthy for the most part. After cleaning up they headed to the theatre.


	3. Nate & Sophie

They arrived before the rest of the cast and Red headed upstairs to Cooper's office, while Lizzie and Dembe were left on the stage to set up for the morning meeting.

"Dembe? Have you really not noticed that I come and go from a different building during my morning run?" she asked, concerned.

"Elizabeth, Raymond calls and tells me when you leave, that gives me just enough time to get downstairs and see you on the sidewalk. Then, when you are finished, I hold back to ensure that you aren't being followed. By the time I get back to our building, you are at the elevator. I always just figured that you were waiting for me." Dembe smiled at her. She could hear the sincerity in his voice. "Raymond's safety is my top priority, with yours a **very** close second. Do you know what he would do to me if something happened to you while I was tailing you?" She saw the large man shudder at his thought. "Do me a favor in the future, can you let me in on your plan of action, please? I hate it when Raymond looks at me like that." Dembe chuckled, and Lizzie chimed in.

As the two finished arranging the chairs, Red and Cooper appeared from the wings and they had been joined by an unfamiliar face. The three men were chuckling with each other like long lost friends. She was already having a hard time keeping her thoughts from wandering today. She hadn't had the opportunity to take in Red's entire ensemble. He was wearing a new suit that he'd just bought. When he brought it home, he refused to show her what it looked like, claiming that it was for a 'special occasion'. On anyone else these three-piece suits might have come off stuffy or old-fashioned, but on Red they looked absolutely perfect. She wondered though, what made today so special, that warranted the new suit?

"…yes, I think that will work perfectly, Raymond. I'd be honored to play that role. It will be just like old times." Lizzie overheard the new man say as they got closer.

"Perfect, Nate. I can't wait. The rest of the company should be here shortly," Red responded. He walked over and standing next to Lizzie he put his arm around her waist. "Nate, you already know Dembe, but I don't think you've had the pleasure of meeting this gorgeous creature. This is Miss Elizabeth Milhoan. Lizzie, this is Nathan Ford. We go way back to my old production days, probably before that if I were to really think about it."

Lizzie put out her hand to shake Nate's, but as he approached he gently placed a kiss on it instead. "The pleasure is all mine, Miss Milhoan," he said, smoothly.

"I see your taste in friends mirrors your own personality, Red," she retorted back.

"You were right old boy, she is a feisty one." Lizzie could feel her face grow warm, as the men around her laughed at her expense. Nate was dressed as dapper as Red. He wore a crisp black pinstripe suit, with a red and white striped oxford shirt and a solid colored matching tie. Nate was easily as old as Red, but he had more hair, and his piercing ocean blue eyes were enough to make her want to drown in them.

Red never budged from his spot at her side, and remained holding her around her waist as the men continued to talk. She found it interesting that he never let her go, almost like he was claiming what was his. She chuckled to herself as her thoughts began to drift. After the nightmares and now the new 'stalkers in the park' she found it comforting to have his arm around her. Her knight in shining armor, always at her side.

The company showed up a short time later. It was a pleasure to see them all again after the hiatus. There were also some new faces, and one in particular caught Lizzie's attention. Everyone took their seats as Red began the meeting.

"Good morning Kershaw thespians. I want to start out by thanking Donald Ressler back there, for all of the amazing work he has done over the last six months with the children's theatre. You seem to have a real knack for working with children. Hint, hint, ladies… _*coughLuli*_ " There were giggles throughout the group, and Lizzie saw Ressler blush as Luli looked his way and smiled. "Next, I hope you guys like the new facelift we've given the theatre. There is still some more work to do, but for now, I think it's a great start. However, enough with the chit chat … today is a big day, as you all know, so let's get on with what we get paid for. Kate, can you grab the box please?" Kate Kaplan went into the wings and reappeared with a small box which Red opened to reveal the script for the next show. "Ladies and gentleman, this will be your best friend for the next eight weeks. We will be performing _My Fair Lady_." The women ooh'd and ah'd, while the men groaned. "Come, come, now, gentlemen. I promise it won't be all mushy love stories in the future. It could be worse, I could be placing you all in tights and leotards for _Swan Lake_." Red laughed. "In all seriousness, let's talk parts. Eliza Doolittle will be played by Lizzie … Freddy will be played by Ressler … As you can see we have some new faces in our midst. Firstly, I want to introduce your new choreographer, Parker. She comes to us with many years of experience."

Parker was thirty-something cute, tall and blonde. She looked like a model from a dance magazine. She was clothed in a pair of black gaucho pants with a white tank and a simple black and white striped wrap sweater. She had the cutest pair of ballet flats and her hair was a perfect messy braid over her shoulder.

Red continued with the assignments. "Colonel Pickering will be played by Nate Ford … and Mrs. Higgins by Miss Sophie Devereaux." He smiled flirtatiously in Miss Devereux's direction as he added, "Of course we'll have to age you, my dear." Lizzie could feel the little green monster of jealousy creep up from inside of her and plant itself on her shoulder as Red smiled at the new woman.

She was closer to Red's age than Lizzie was, and not knowing the history between the two made it even worse for Lizzie. Sophie was dressed very well, in a tan and cream, lace trimmed, silky cami top accompanied by navy skin tight jeans. Lizzie tuned out Red as her mind began thinking about Sophie and the history she must share with Red. _Red just didn't go out and hire new actors, he had a reason for each and every one of them. What was the deal with Sophie? Were they once lovers? I still wish I knew what my connection is to him. Why did he chose me in the first place? What makes me so special?_ She was pulled from her thoughts by the sight of everyone getting up to leave.

"Alright everyone, just like last time, I want to see you back here in one week, lines memorized and ready to go. Remember to see Parker and obtain her notes for your specific choreography assignments. This is a movement heavy performance. Good luck!" Red finished.

Lizzie got up and started to help Dembe clean up the stage, while trying to eavesdrop on the conversations that Red was having with Sophie. He wasn't hiding the fact that he was flirting with her. _What the hell is he doing? There has to be some history with the two of them. I've never seen him just flirt with any woman like that. In fact I've never seen him flirt with any other women apart from me,_ she thought, her memories going back to the closing night of _Pride & Prejudice_ at the jazz club. She had felt so beautiful that night, in her red dress and Red had looked so handsome decked out in his version of a zoot suit. They had danced for hours before he asked where she wanted to end the night. She had giggled and she could feel her cheeks getting warm again as she remembered what she had told him. " _Why don't we try something new. How about we use this tie of yours, you blindfold me, and_ _ **you**_ _decide where to end the night."_ He had done just that. When they got back to the car, she had seen him whisper into Dembe's ear, and then he removed his tie and blindfolded her. He had taken her to a little Russian restaurant where they shared a plate of baklava. There he taught her the fine art of Tango, and how business negotiations work much the same.

"Elizabeth." She heard Dembe whisper to her. "What's wrong?" Her face was hot now. Her emotions felt like they were on a roller coaster. One minute she was incredibly happy, then intensely jealous and now, immensely aroused at the memory of that night six months ago.

"It's nothing Dembe. I just don't know about that Sophie gal," she whispered back.

Dembe let out a soft laugh. "Elizabeth … you don't think …" His laugh grew in volume. " … that Raymond and Sophie? Oh, my." He shook his head. "They are childhood friends. She is six years younger than he is. And from the stories that I have heard them tell, they hated each other growing up, but she was the only other kid his age where they lived in Boston. Raymond was the 'man of honor' at her wedding … to Nathan Ford. Let me tell you the pictures were hilarious. And her color choices were hideous! Bright pink, orange and turquoise. Raymond had to wear a bright pink vest and tie with his white suit." He paused for a moment, meeting her eyes, "Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Raymond isn't going anywhere." He smiled. It was like he knew how she felt, and how jealous she was of Sophie.

"What seems to be so funny over here?" Red asked, coming up behind Lizzie and sliding his arms around her waist, leaning into her.

Lizzie jumped slightly at his sudden presence. "Oh, nothing." She looked at Dembe and the two of them both laughed. "Just… an inside joke."

"Hmm, maybe you should share … how about over lunch? I know a great little hole-in-the-wall noodle shop." He planted kisses along the back of her neck.

She slid out of his grasp and grabbed her bag. "Maybe … But in regards to lunch … that sounds great, I'm starving," she said. "By the way, did I miss it, or did you discuss who our dear Professor is going to be? Oh, wait … I know." She smiled devilishly. "It's you isn't it?"

"But of course, my dear. Who else would it be?" Red responded, with a smile more sinister than hers. "By the way, I made an appointment with Dr. Orchard for this afternoon. With your dreams becoming more frequent I felt she could help."

Lizzie was taken aback by his obvious parental catering. While it was a good idea to go and see the therapist, she just wished that he had talked to her about it first. She sighed. "I guess that works. Let's go eat."

They got to the restaurant and Lizzie was surprised to find that the 'hole-in-the-wall' noodle shop was in fact *literally* a hole in the wall. They ate, and talked about _My Fair Lady_.

"What are your thoughts on the production, Lizzie? I know that this is one of your favorites. Didn't you say that your father took you to see it your senior year of high school?"

"Yes, I'm so excited for the show. We saw it on Broadway during spring break my senior year. It was amazing. He even managed to acquire backstage passes so I could meet all of the cast members. I still don't know how he arranged that, it was probably his ties to the theatre from his directing days. It's one of the best memories I have of him," Lizzie said, smiling as she reminisced. Then, she paused for a moment, and her demeanor changed as she realised something. "You know, Red, it's funny that you picked this show, at this time of year … the anniversary of Sam's death is coming up in October. When were you planning on opening the show?"

She watched as Red appeared to get lost in his thoughts. "I was actually thinking about dedicating the show to him. And have the opening night be his anniversary. How does that sound Lizzie? Do you think that he would like that?"

She sat back for a moment. _How does Red know about when Sam died? I don't remember ever telling him about it. Sure Red had his 'connections', how else did he know about the abuse with Tom? Could he be the 'Ray' of Sam's stories?_ "Red? I have a random question, but… did you know my father?" She watched as Red appeared to be caught off guard.

"I did. Sam and I were … business partners for a long time. When I had to 'disappear' he took over for me, while I gave him direction from the shadows."

She wondered why she'd never met Red before now. Again she shrugged it off on her faulty memories from her childhood."I think that would be wonderful!" she said finally, content with the idea of remembering Sam in this way.

"Lizzie, we must get going. You have your appointment soon." Red pulled her back to reality.

She nodded and they finished, paid the bill and were off to Dr. Orchard's office.


	4. Gossip

She was very fond of Dr. Selma Orchard. She was an older African-American lady, close to Red's age. Lizzie couldn't remember how she had found the doctor, but Dr. Orchard had been so calm and reassuring when she first started seeing her after her abusive relationship with Tom. She had felt that hypnosis was the best course of treatment to help Lizzie through her trauma. And Lizzie wondered if she would use the same therapy this time.

"Lizzie, do you want me to be present for your session? I can stay out here if you would like," Red asked.

"Would you stay with me? I think I would feel better if you were there, just as added reassurance," she replied, quietly.

"Whatever you need, my dear." Red gave her arm a gentle squeeze just as they were called through.

"Elizabeth. It's so nice to see you again," the doctor said. "And who is this handsome gentleman with you? Don't tell me you ran off and got married without telling me?" she laughed with a raised eyebrow.

Lizzie felt her face get warm, but before she could answer, Red jumped in. "Raymond Reddington, Dr. Orchard. It's a pleasure to meet you." He reached out and shook the doctor's hand.

"He's the producer for the theatre where I'm working … and … we kinda live together too." She let out a nervous giggle.

"It sounds like we have quite a bit of catching up to do, Elizabeth. When the appointment was made, my receptionist was told to block out two hours? Is that right?"

"I was the one that made the appointment, Dr. Orchard. I wasn't sure how long you would need for Lizzie's session, so I requested a longer one. I hope that's alright with you?" Red replied.

"Oh, that's fine. Shall we sit and start talking? Raymond, I'm going to have you step out for just a few minutes. I want to catch up with Elizabeth, and then, if she wants you to be present, I can bring you back in. Is that alright, Elizabeth?" Lizzie nodded, and Red laid a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'll be in the other room, Lizzie. Come and get me when you are ready." Red turned and headed to the waiting room.

Lizzie was led to a small seating area, where Dr. Orchard turned her tape recorder on and flipped open her note pad. "So, Elizabeth, tell me about what's been happening with you recently.. The last time we met, you had left Tom, and we had made considerable headway by using hypnosis to aid your recovery from his abuse." She smiled and Lizzie felt instantly comfortable and reassured. Dr. Orchard had made her feel like that as soon as she met her and their sessions had been such an important part of her ongoing recovery from Tom's abuse. Now she settled immediately back into that sense of warmth and well-being that the doctor's presence provided.

"Well, I finally got settled into my new apartment and I landed an amazing acting job with the Kershaw Theatre. That's where I met Raymond." She felt her cheeks blush again. _Why can't I keep these damn feelings under control?_ she thought to herself. "I've been enjoying every minute of the performances. We completed a run of _Pride & Prejudice _and we're getting ready to start our second show, _My Fair Lady_." Her words trailed off.

"Ooh. I love the sound of that. Tell me, Elizabeth … You seem very attached to Raymond. Can you tell me something about him and your relationship with him?"

"Umm, well … I don't know a lot about him. I know he was a famous producer back in the day, and something happened that caused him to go off the radar for over twenty years. Then, he just showed up again at the Kershaw back in December. He came in and seemed to know exactly who I was, and told me that I was his new lead actress. We did the production of _Pride & Prejudice_. He tried working with me one night on some scenes that I was having issues with, and he appeared to know a lot about what happened with Tom. He used that information to 'help me'. The memories left me feeling very raw. That was also the night that I got very drunk again. I ended up staying at Raymond's."

"You spent the night at this man's house?" the doctor questioned.

"Well, it was more a case of me passing out and him putting me to bed, to be honest. But I slapped him the next day for bringing up the memories of Tom." She laughed, thinking back, before continuing, "Opening night was pretty amazing. There was this scene at the end, you know, where Elizabeth and Darcy kiss after the wedding? Well, we never rehearsed that scene, so opening night was the first time we … kissed."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Pretty damn good, to be honest, despite the anxiety I had." Lizzie sighed happily. "It wasn't like any time when I kissed Tom, or any of the other guys I've kissed. There was something different about it … it was like there was more feeling in it. I just blew it off though. I mean, we were doing a scene and we were in character."

"Were you? In character … or did it feel more real?"

"I still don't know to be honest. After that performance, Raymond had arranged for this awesome party at the Ritz Carlton. It was gorgeous. Well, you know me and my liquor … I drank too much again … and stupid Tom … he was there that night too…"

"Tom was where Elizabeth?"

"At the theatre. He was sitting in the center of the front row. The bastard. I hadn't seen him in almost a year and he just showed up out of nowhere. I mean, what the hell?! Why? Why can't he just leave me be? So, I got really drunk again and Raymond took me to a room to sleep off my stupidity. And the next morning he told me that he wanted to show me this great time and treat me like the 'queen that I am'. Adorable, right? He planned an amazing day: a carriage ride through the city, lunch at a quaint bistro and dinner at a really fancy French restaurant. We ended the evening back in his hotel room cuddled up on the couch watching movies … oh, and dumb ass Tom showed up there, too… he got into a fist fight with Raymond."

"So, Tom, has he been stalking you?"

"We think so. Raymond has a bodyguard that he sends out with me when I go running, and there are at least three men that have been following me. And the night that Tom got into the fight with Raymond, he also went and caused half a million dollars worth of damage to my apartment building … If I'd been there, I probably wouldn't be here to tell you about it. He is seriously psycho, Dr. Orchard. That's why I moved in with Raymond; well, it was his idea actually. And, to be honest, I have never felt safer."

"You and Raymond … are you intimate?"

"Oh, heavens no! There have been times that I wish … but, no. Don't get me wrong. We have our moments, we go dancing most weekends … and, oh my goodness, is he an unbelievable kisser. I mean, we've only kissed a handful of times and we haven't had a moment like that in … well, a while. But he's always kissing me on the top of my head, or on my cheek …" She paused, contemplating, her internal thought processes suddenly working in overdrive. _Has it really been almost six months since we kissed? What changed? He may be older than me but that doesn't alter how I feel about him. Has he decided that he doesn't like *me* in that way? Have I made it seem as if all I want from him are paternal or brotherly affections? Have I been too complacent? Did I go too far with my childish teasing about his age? Did he take it personally and think I really meant it? Do I need to make my intentions more obvious? Does he know how I really feel, how he makes me feel? Does he have any idea how much I would give to know how his skin feels against mine? Why am I so hesitant to make a move? Has Tom screwed me up so badly that I can't have a decent relationship with another man? Is what Red and I have even a relationship? Most people are dating for months before they move in together, but on the other hand they're probably kissing on a regular basis and having sex together, too. We seem to have skipped straight to the sharing a place stage and omitted several other important phases along the way … although, admittedly, the circumstances were a little less than normal._ She sighed, recovered herself and continued talking to Dr. Orchard. "And he's always touching me in some way … a hand around my waist, a pat on my thigh. He makes me feel so special. He tells me that I'm his queen, and he has truly been my knight in shining armor." Lizzie sat back, feeling like one huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, only to be replaced by another filled with doubt and worry.

"Elizabeth, I'm so happy for you. Tell me, when we last met, you mentioned something about a dream that you were having. Are you still having that dream?"

"Actually, that's part of the reason I wanted to come back, or I guess Raymond wanted me to come back. The dream is becoming more and more frequent and I'm waking up screaming now." Lizzie shuddered at the thought of the chaos the dream was causing to her sleeping habits.

"Hmm, that's intriguing. Shall we bring Raymond back in, now that we have gotten all of the juicy details out about him?" Dr. Orchard chuckled, and Lizzie nodded. Within a few moments, Red was back in the room and sitting next to Lizzie holding her hand. "All right, Elizabeth … Tell me what you can remember about your dream, or nightmare rather."

She took a long, deep, steadying breath and then started to describe the horrors that haunted her at night. "Every time I have it some of the details change. I'm always in a grand theatre waiting to watch a performance. There is something significant about the people in front of me, I think, because I see them every time. But I've never been able to make out their faces, except for a little girl who is very young and has brunette-coloured hair; even the dancer on the stage has an obscured face. Then … the fire starts ... I can feel the heat, but I never get burned … the little girl is kneeling beside a man whose back is burning." Lizzie felt Red tense up beside her. She looked at him, but his face was completely blank.

"Elizabeth, I definitely think that hypnosis therapy would be beneficial in treating these nightmares. Let's set up another appointment in about a week or so. Set some time aside, especially afterwards. I want to try a new method on you. And Raymond, you are more than welcome to be present for this, in fact I would highly encourage it." Dr. Orchard stood and led them out of the room. "Speak with my receptionist and I look forward to seeing you both again."

As Lizzie spoke to the receptionist, she noticed that Red had hung back and was talking quietly to Dr. Orchard. She was curious. What were they talking about? He'd made the appointment behind her back, and now he was talking to her doctor out of her earshot. She knew that Dr. Orchard wouldn't break confidentiality, and that calmed her slightly. But she still felt slightly unnerved. She decided she would talk to him about his little conversation later.

They left the office and Lizzie sat silently in the back of the car, working though her thoughts and feelings; she felt him slowly take a hold her hand, holding on to it firmly. _Oh, Red, I wish I could just tell you how I feel … how I want to be in your arms forever … how you make me feel so safe … how I feel like you've given me a second chance on love and life. Just say it, Lizzie, just tell him how you feel … what are you waiting for? It's been SIX months since you last kissed those soft intoxicating lips … Why wait any longer? Are you just going to sit back and let him treat you like a daughter, instead of a lover? Fathers don't kiss their daughters the way he kissed you! You know you want to taste those luscious lips again. What are you afraid of? He's nothing like Tom. Red is a gentleman, and puts you first above all else. Do you want to lose him?_ She felt him squeeze her hand and it drew her back from her mental self interrogation.

"So, my dear, did you divulge all of our dirty little secrets today?" Red said, jokingly.

"You only wish, Red. It was actually a very productive session. I feel a lot better," she replied.

"That's wonderful, sweetheart! Tell me, did you talk about me?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Now if I told you that, it would breach the 'doctor patient confidentiality' agreement," she giggled at him. "Not that I would tell you either way." She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder and enjoyed the rest of the car ride home. She was hoping that between the therapy sessions and having Red beside her, she just might be able to pick up the broken pieces and put her life back together.


	5. Hard Questions

Red caved in and allowed Lizzie to order Thai food for dinner. He wasn't the biggest fan of the food, but if it's what made her content, he was happy to oblige. They dove into the food while lounging on the couch. During dinner, he thought it would be a good time to propose some ideas for the show.

"Ay, me dear. 'Eh, wha' yu sy, tu som actin' lehsins?" Red attempted to say in his best Cockney accent. He watched as Lizzie just about choked on her food laughing.

"What was that?!" Lizzie snorted.

"It's not 'what was that', it's 'Ay, wha' at'?'." Red corrected, trying not to laugh as well.

"Um, sure, wha' yu sy. But, seriously, what the hell did you just say?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Well, in the production, Higgins turns Eliza into a duchess … as you're already a duchess, I realized that we will have a harder task before us. We must turn you into a 'draggle-tailed guttersnipe'." He said proudly. "And a 'draggle-tailed guttersnipe' I shall turn you into. It would nice if I had the knowledge that Higgins had." He let out a boastful laugh. "An ditn't yur mov'er efer tell ya not ter tek wif yur mouf fol?"

"Duchess, huh? And how dare you call me a 'draggle-tailed guttersnipe'," she snapped. "All right, I get it, Red … so, what is all **this** going to entail? Is this more of your 'unconventional methods'?" she asked, raising her hand at him. He had a small flashback to when she had slapped him last time, during one of their rehearsals. He could still feel the sting of her hand against his cheek.

"Unconventional, no ... not entirely. They won't be as bad as the last lessons." He reached over and patted her leg. "Trust me, I'm not looking for a reprise of the last rehearsal we shared." He put his hands up in surrender. Lizzie giggled at him as she jokingly took a swipe at his face.

Oh, how he loved that laugh. It was so warm … so appealing … so just, his Lizzie. He drifted off momentarily into a daydream, wondering if Saline would be able to make the embassy ball gown perfect enough for her, and worthy of her beauty. He could see her now, walking down the stairs in a gorgeous cream beaded dress offset by glittering diamond jewelry.

"Red? Hey …" She was snapping her fingers in his face as he came back to the present, and he just smiled at her. "Welcome back. Are you going to eat that last dumpling?" she asked. He shook his head at her and handed her the carton. He followed the chopsticks from the carton all the way to her lips as she popped the last pastry into her mouth. He longed to kiss those exquisite lips. It had been so long since he'd last tasted them. He wanted so badly to explore and caress every last inch of her body. He wanted to know what her breasts tasted like … how the touch of her skin would feel against his … he wanted to know how she felt coming apart underneath him, over and over again. Hey, he might be in his fifties, but he wasn't dead. He could feel his arousal becoming painful against the restrictions of his suit pants, and the last thing he wanted was for Lizzie to see it.

While she was turned away, gathering the empty cartons and cleaning up, Red quickly stood and walked over to the record player, fumbling with the records. He hoped that by having his back to her, it would allow him the time he needed to calm down. Much to his dismay, he was not left alone long enough to accomplish the task. Two arms surprised him as they were being wrapped around him from behind. He looked over his shoulder and leaned his head against hers. "To what do I owe this pleasure, sweetheart?" he asked, trying to mask the deepening in his voice caused by his budding arousal.

"Who will be gracing us with their talents this evening?" Her voice was soft, and sensual.

There was something different about her tonight. He knew without a doubt that she had talked about him, and the relationship they had, with Dr. Orchard; he realized what was going on the moment he was asked to leave. She had appeared to be lost in another world the whole way home, her thoughts enveloping her. He wouldn't push her to tell him anything that she didn't want to talk about. He was a patient man, despite how painful it might be, and he'd told her early on that he wouldn't press her to do anything that made her uncomfortable. He was well aware of the blemish that Tom had left on her; on her body, her mind, her soul, her life. She'd told him that he'd become her ray of light in the dark cave of her life. He was trying to keep their relationship simple, but nothing was ever simple in his life. He wondered now, what she and the doctor had discussed. She rarely came up to him like this, unless it was in a social setting; never at home. And, as much as he wanted her, every part of her, he would never make that first move, she would have to initiate it. Until now, she never had.

"Hmm, I'm not sure. It's a toss up between some Frank Sinatra or some Glenn Miller. What do you think, Lizzie?" He slid his hands across her arms, which had tightened around his middle. He felt her start to nuzzle the center of his back, and he tried not to tense up. He was glad that he hadn't taken his vest off yet; it was just one added layer of protection between her and his scarred back. He really didn't want her to discover that just yet. He wasn't ready to deal with all the repercussions that would entail.

He opted for something a little different. He plugged in his mp3 player and chose an instrumental playlist. He turned around in the circle of her arms and quietly put his own around her and allowed her head to nestle against his shoulder.. They stood there motionless for a while, until she broke the silence.

"Red?" Her voice was hesitant. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, my dear."

"Why is it … I've noticed that …" He heard her mutter encouragement to herself under her breath before she continued, "How come we don't … kiss … like we used to?"

He was not expecting that question at all. He was speechless; his mind began to race, searching for an answer. He felt her pull away, and her eyes were starting to tear up the longer it took him to answer. "I mean, it's not a big deal, I guess … I was just curious … I'm sorry … gosh I feel like I'm back in high school ..." Her words trailed off just as her voice began to crack.

He pulled her back in. "Lizzie, I don't have an adequate answer for you, because I don't know why." He was clawing for an answer. He started to berate himself in his head. _What the hell, Raymond! Why have you only kissed her on her head, or her cheek recently? What kind of a message is that sending her? Just a few months ago, you tasted those lips. And you find her gorgeous … despite being fifty-four, you have no issues in that department … most days you're instantly aroused just by watching her do mundane tasks. So what's the issue? What are you afraid of?_ Her actions made it hard to form a coherent thought, let alone a full sentence. " Liz…"

Her hands moved from his waist up to his face, cupping it, pulling him in swiftly, and kissing him hard. He tightened his grip around her middle to deepen the kiss. They continued for a short while, only breaking momentarily for gasps of air. Her hands moved from his face and to the buttons on his vest, while his hands moved to caress up and down her back. She got the last button undone and slipped the offensive piece of clothing off, throwing it onto the coffee table behind her. She made quick work of his tie, and then moved onto the buttons on his dress shirt. Red suddenly realized what she was doing and felt a flush of cold fear bring him back to reality. He stopped her as she undid the last button, grabbing her hands.

"Lizzie …" He tried to hide his fear and uncertainty. He wanted her so badly, yet the whole situation felt so wrong. This was not how he'd imagined their first time. And there was so much that had to be done first. So much that he had to explain. Otherwise, he was certain he would lose her. And that he just could not bear.

"Red … I realized today that I've been so stupid. This whole arrangement, everything between us, I've just been going through the motions. I've become complacent and just accepted your paternal affections towards me. Tom traumatized me, I realize that now, he made me feel like I'm undeserving of love, that I'm just worthless. He made me feel like whatever attention I was given I should just accept it, regardless if it's positive or negative. But I realized today that I need to take control of things in my life. I need to let *you* know how I feel. Red, I want you to _love_ me, all of me. But not like a father or a brother. I want the intimacy that comes with a real relationship, and I don't want you to ever let me go. I want to feel you against me. I want to know what it's like to be devoured by the infamous Raymond Reddington."

The more she continued to talk, the more aroused he became, it was on the border of being painful. His heart was ready to beat out of his chest and yet he was completely certain he had stopped breathing altogether. He picked her up and propped her up against the wall, and kissed her: her lips, her jaw, her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her totally cute nose, every piece of exposed skin he could reach, he kissed. He could feel through his trousers just how aroused she was. Her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist and her nails dug into the back of his skull. He turned and carried her into the bedroom where he sat her on the bed. He looked down at her, the deep blue ring of color had almost been enveloped by the dilation of her pupils. He reached down and lifted her shirt up and over her head, exposing her exquisite ivory skin. She was wearing a sexy black lace bralette that accentuated her breasts perfectly. He ghosted his hands across both her clavicle bones then down her cleavage, stopping at the top of the bra. He could see the goosebumps rise on her flawless skin. He refastened a few of the buttons on his shirt and a disheartened scowl flashed across her face. He sat down next to her on the bed as she rolled onto her side.

"Lizzie … when I talked to Dr. Orchard today, she counseled me to not rush into anything intimate with you; at least not yet. You mean the world to me. I won't do anything that will compromise or complicate that. And I won't go against Dr. Orchard's advice no matter how much I might want yes, I think we both have gotten too comfortable with the way things are. I've been trying to give you the space that you needed to work through everything. Let's start with a clean slate and just take things very slowly." He leaned in for a gentle kiss, his tongue just grazing past her lips. Then he smiled as he stood back up and instructed her to roll onto her stomach. She did as she was told, and he walked over to the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lavender chamomile massage oil. He crawled onto the top of the bed, rolled his shirt sleeves up and with a flick of his wrist undid her bra. He poured a small amount of the oil into his hands, rubbing vigorously to warm the liquid. As he laid his hands on her bare skin, a soft moan escaped from her lips. He started at her shoulders, and worked his way down, feeling for the knots in the tense muscles down her back. As he moved from spot to spot, he kissed them and whispered sweet nothings about them, sighing between each.

"Mmm. Strong shoulders to carry the weight of the world, much like that of Atlas. Only," she could hear the smile in his voice, "much, much, much more feminine, of course!"

…

Your trapezius muscles, so tight and tense. Too much stress in these.

…

The Latissimus dorsi … the broadest of the back muscles … when tense, it causes so many additional problems throughout the entire body. We must relax these."

…

He made his way down the rest of her back, her yoga pants restricting his access to her lower body. He paused making his way back to her head, and smiled as he noticed that she'd fallen asleep. He laughed softly to himself. She was radiant as she slept., and he let out a sigh of relief that more had not happened. Despite the warnings from Dr. Orchard, he knew she wasn't ready for that intimate step to be taken, and as he sat there gazing down at her, he didn't think he was either. It wasn't the right time and, like their first kiss, he wanted their first time to be just as special.


	6. Thah Rine In Spine

He leaned in and kissed her lips softly, before padding into the bathroom to change for bed. He emerged, contemplating where he should sleep. He had several options, the couch being one, but the last time he slept there his back hurt for days afterwards. He opted for his own bed; it was plenty big enough for the two of them, with room to spare. He carefully climbed in next to her, covering the two of them with the blanket. He rolled onto his side and moved gently over to spoon her, softly resting his arm around her waist and holding her lightly so as not to wake her. He nuzzled her hair and neck as he lay there, and then he too drifted off to sleep, his dreams filled with Lizzie.

He snapped awake.

Liz was talking in her sleep, and he stilled his breathing, trying to hear what she was saying. " _Wait … stop … who are you?"_ she screamed. Then her voice crescendoed, " _No! … your back … HELP!"_ He tensed as she spoke of the man in her dream, the man with the scars, the man that was … him. He remembered again the savage pain as his back blistered and burned. He remembered falling. He remembered … everything. He let out a quiet sob, as the vivid images flashed through his mind. He saw Carla and Jenny die right there in front of him once again; the memory of Lizzie screaming for help, as he lay there burning. He felt like he was going to need therapy from this torture, if her dreams continued like this. He pulled her in tighter against his body, and she rolled over; she was awake now. She had a look of shock on her face.

"Red … where's my bra?" she asked in a groggy whisper, as she looked down and saw that she was completely topless. Red pointed to the floor behind her, and her face softened, becoming almost docile, as she gave a resigned shrug and curled into him again, falling back to sleep. He stayed awake for the rest of the night watching over her.

Just before sunrise she began to mew in her sleep, this time a completely different dream seemed to envelope her. " _Raymond … … its exquisite … … I love you …"_ He watched as a single tear ran down her rosy cheeks. He was completely elated at her words, despite not knowing how to react to her words, and wondering exactly what she was dreaming about. He pulled her in a little closer, wanting this moment to last. He ran his fingers through her hair and down her back as she woke slowly.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he said, applying a kiss to her forehead and then another to her lips. "How did you sleep?"

"Mmm, very well." Her voice was still hazy with sleep.

"Do you remember your dreams from last night?" he inquired carefully.

She paused for a moment. "I recall dreaming about bits of the fire, but after I woke up from that and found you here with me, they disappeared," she said, thinking back.

"Anything else?" he pushed slightly. He wanted to know if she remembered what she'd said about loving him. He was torn; he wanted her to remember, but he felt that it would just complicate things further.

"Not really. I have this blurry image of what I think was a ring, but I'm not sure what that dream was about."

He watched her sit up and stretch; he was completely blown away by her flawless ivory skin, it looked so silky smooth. She blinked at him, then spoke, "Red, what's wrong?" She looked down and quickly snatched up the sheet so it covered her upper body. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I thought that you would remember, you asked me in the middle of the night where your top was. And honestly, why would I deny myself the pleasure of gazing upon your gorgeous body, or you the opportunity to be admired?" He laughed softly.

"Funny, real funny." She threw her pillow at him, smiling coyly.

He tossed the pillow aside and pulled her back into a cuddle. "Your body, your beauty, it's breathtaking. I could … and to be honest … would love to, drown in it," he whispered into her ear, nipping at her lobes.

"As much as I would love to stay here and enjoy the party, we should really get this day started. We have a script to memorize, and I believe you said you needed to turn me into, what was it … ah yes a 'draggle-tailed guttersnipe'," she said laughing.

"Oh, alright, I guess we can continue this later," he said, cocking an eyebrow at her. He watched as she slid off the bed and headed towards the bathroom. "Hey, Lizzie?" He threw his own pillow at her, causing her to drop the sheet.

" **Dammit** , Reddington!" she said chuckling. She bent down, picked up the sheet and covered herself again. Red continued laughing as she turned to leave the room, noticing Dembe in the doorway. "REALLY? How long have you been standing there, Dembe?" she snapped, her face flushing now. Dembe just looked at her smiling grandly. "Gah, I just can't get a break from you guys!" She stormed down the hall and slammed her bedroom door.

"Good morning, Dembe. What brings you in so early?" Red asked, getting out of bed.

"What a way to wake up, Raymond. Do you make it a habit making her mad this early?" Dembe asked, holding back his laughter.

"Habit, no. However I do love the way she looks when she's angry. It's cute," Red responded.

"I spoke with Baz last night." Dembe's joyful expression had faded.

"Give me some time to shower and dress, then we'll talk," Red said, as Dembe departed.

Red shaved, showered and dressed in record time. He had no intention of leaving the apartment, so he went for casual attire choosing a simple black shirt and black jeans. As he exited the bedroom, the sights and smells were wonderful. Lizzie was at the stove cooking, while Dembe was sitting at the breakfast bar laughing at the conversation that they were having.

"Lizzie? I didn't know you knew how to cook," he said, as he sauntered into the kitchen and stood next to the stove.

"I know enough to get by. And besides, I've been paying attention when you cook," she shot back.

"And here I thought that you were just checking out _my_ goods from behind," he said in a flirtatious tone. He watched as her neck and cheeks began to flush under his words. "Do you need any help, sweetheart?"

"Ow, we are proud," she said in a failed Cockney accent. They all laughed at her painful attempts. "Nope, I've got it from here. Go, and do your thing with Dembe. Breakfast is almost ready."

The men retreated to the table and began discussing Dembe's findings.

"Baz agreed that we need to increase the security. He has taken a look at the new system and is impressed. He can have Eliot and the rest of the team here within twenty-four hours."

"That'll do nicely. Have the team set up in the remaining suites here," Red said.

"Who are Baz, and Eliot? How many personnel do you have on staff?" Lizzie interrupted, while bringing breakfast to the table.

"With the increased threats, I felt it necessary to bring on some additional security. In regards to my personnel, we'd be here for days if I listed everyone who works for me," Red said, as Dembe snickered. "And what do we have here? Scrambled eggs, fresh bacon and hashbrowns? Goodness, my dear, I think I'm going to need to start running if you keep feeding me like this." Red leaned over and gave her a quick kiss, before digging in.

As the three of them ate, Dembe and Red told Lizzie about the main two men that would be a constant around the theatre and apartment building. First was Baz. He had been part of Red's main team for over fifteen years. He was perhaps in his forties, and reminded Lizzie of an old hippy. He had shoulder length black hair, one pierced ear, a mustache and soul patch for facial hair. In the picture that Dembe showed her, he was wearing a flannel shirt and blue jeans with combat looking boots. His icy blue eyes, seemed to soften his rugged looks. The next picture she was shown was that of Eliot Spencer. He was closer to her age, but just as rugged looking as Baz. He had shoulder length dark brown hair, and was scruffy in the face. He reminded her of a modern country singer. He was wearing a blue t-shirt under a plaid shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots. He too had gorgeous rich blue eyes, that softened his look.

"Now, Lizzie, Eliot will be your personal guard if for any reason Dembe is with me. Which shouldn't be very often, if ever," Red explained.

They ate and talked for a long while. Dembe offered to clear the table and do the dishes so Red and Lizzie could start working on the scripts. Red led her to the living room where he pulled out a box from the bookcase. From inside he pulled out several objects looking more like toys than anything else.

He held up a small plastic light bulb. "Now, with the Cockney accent, there are some things you need to keep in mind. First is, the back of your mouth needs to remain open while the front remain as closed as possible. Here, put this in your mouth and you will see what I mean." He placed the object in her mouth and she could feel her soft palate raise to accommodate it. Now with that in your mouth, I want you to repeat: 'With blackest moss, the flower pots were thickly crusted, one and all'."

Lizzie took a deep breath and attempted to repeat the words. "Wif baket moff, da fowr pof wur ficky crahfed onm an all."

"Not bad, Lizzie. I think this will come faster than I expected. Ok, how about we try this phrase: 'The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains'."

"Gah rine un Skine skahs nainly un gah phanes," she attempted

"Alright, I can see where we need some work, but this is fantastic." He removed the object from her mouth, and moved on to the next lesson. He grabbed a tablet of paper and a pen, then wrote out a list of words. The first column the words were spelled correctly, in the second column he wrote the Cockney equivalent. Then he pronounced each slowly as she repeated. "Very nice my dear. Continue to work on these two exercises, and we can add to the regime tomorrow."

Lizzie was left to work on her lessons while Red and Dembe conducted their own business. After several hours, she felt like her head was going to explode, not to mention her throat was starting to hurt, and she needed a break. She looked up from where she was sitting, and saw that both men had moved on to reading.

After a long while reading and memorising the script, Lizzie had had enough. "Hey, Dembe. You wanna go for a run?"

Dembe looked up from his book, and met Lizzie's eyes before turning to Red, as if to ask a parent for permission to go out to play. "Oh, come on. Every student deserves a recess." She pleaded. She watched as Red gave an agreeing nod, and she was up and out of the chair before Dembe had his book closed. "I'll meet you at the elevator Dembe." And she was gone, humming _I Could Have Danced All Night_ to herself.

"Stay close, Dembe, no tailing today," Red warned. Dembe left to gather his own things, and Lizzie was out the door to wait for him down the hall.

Lizzie showed Dembe the back route through The Greens building that she had been using to try and deceive anyone who might be trying to follow her. As they appeared from the back hallway of The Greens, Hardison, the doorman, looked as if he was going to say something, but stopped as soon as he saw Dembe behind Lizzie. His expression changed almost comically from expectation to disappointment. She shot him a smile and a wink as she left, and saw his boyish grin reappear across his face .

"Let's go this way today, Dembe. I feel like a change of scenery," she said as she began heading in a different direction than normal. They talked and ran, taking in the beautiful fall landscape. They had been out for about an hour when Dembe stopped her.

"Elizabeth, something doesn't feel right. I think we should head back." Just as the words exited his mouth they heard a gunshot in the distance.

They made the run back, but as they got back to their street, neither one was prepared for what they were about to encounter.


	7. Assault on The Greens

The front of The Greens building was barricaded off with emergency vehicles and police cars. All six of the windows were completely shot out, and a dead body was being carried out in a body bag on a stretcher towards a coroner's van. Clusters of people were lining the corner of the block trying to get whatever glimpse they could of the action. Lizzie and Dembe stopped momentarily to analyze the situation. He grabbed her elbow and pulled her along towards the building between The Greens and their apartment, belonging to Central Park Condominiums. As casually as they could they made their way through the main foyer of the building and out via the back entrance. Lizzie was impressed by Dembe's quick talking which allowed them to make their way through the police barricade that had been set up in the alley. While she was waiting she thought that she saw Kate Kaplan emerge from The Greens' service door, no one even noticed her leaving, she was like a ghost just breezing through. _Why would Kate be at The Greens? Did she have something to do with what was going on?_ Lizzie thought. They quickly made their way back up to their apartment, but were met with yet another unexpected scene.

As they entered, they found Red pacing rather frantically across the veranda, a glass of scotch containing more than a few fingers of the golden liquid in one hand, and his cell phone in the other. He turned as he heard the door close behind them. The worry that was plastered across his face had aged him considerably. "Thank you for the update, Kate. Please let me know if anything changes," Red said as he hung up the phone.

He turned to face them and was clearly very angry. "Just where the hell have you two been? Do neither one of you know how to answer a damn phone? Do you have any idea what has been going on?" he yelled.

Lizzie glanced at Dembe who was looking down at his phone, apparently it had a dead battery. Her phone was lying on the coffee table where she had left it, forgotten in the rush of leaving.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea I'd left mine on the table. What **is** going on Red? We heard gunshots from the park ..."

He cut her off. "I'll tell you what's going on. There was an attack at The Greens. Thankfully Kate managed to get in there and identified the bodies for me."

 _So it was Kate I saw. What in the world was she doing there? How was she able to identify bodies … she's just a set designer. Or is she?_ Lizzie thought to herself.

"The attackers were German, and working for the Clandestine Production Company.' Red looked at Dembe as if this name should mean something to him; Lizzie was simply confused. Red continued, "The other unfortunate souls were two innocent tenants of the building. And the doorman, Hardison, would have made five bodies if he hadn't had a gun of his own. He was the one that shot the German men after they killed the two tenants. This is one huge mess. Baz managed to get a word alone with him and Hardison told Baz that the Germans stormed the foyer, shot the two tenants, and demanded to know where 'Liz Milhoan' was. When the he responded with confusion, they flashed your photo." Red's tone was still angry, but coming down in volume.

"What did he say? Did he tell them about me? I never told him my real name." Lizzie was getting scared.

"Thankfully, you must have made quite an impression him, he told the men that he'd never seen you before. As they went to shoot him, Hardison quickly shot them at point blank range; he apparently has lightning fast reflexes.' Red looked at them both with anger. "In the time it takes you both to **not** answer your phones, Kate has taken care of him financially, found him a new position at another apartment building and told him if he needs anything, we would be happy to oblige." Red looked to Dembe, and he nodded in understanding. "Kate also found two burner phones and both had the same three numbers saved; one belonging to someone at The Clandestine Production Company, one for a man named Bud and the third was for Tom Keen. I'm sure now of the connection, and this is hitting way too close for comfort." Red took another long swig from the glass.

Lizzie had rarely seen Red have too much to drink, but when he had over-indulged she'd never seen him act so volatile. His actions and the way he was throwing his arm around was so erratic. He was usually good at holding his liquor, and his temper. She started to walk towards him, to offer some sort of comfort, or even another apology for the phone debacle. "Red, look I'm here. Nothing happened to me, see? Why don't you put the glass down and come sit. We will talk about it." She reached out to grab the glass and he turned sharply, spilling some onto the floor.

" **Don't**!" he snapped at her.

"Red how much have you had to drink?" she asked irritated, knowing now that this was not his first full glass, and it was probably not his second either.

"That's none of your business. I drink what I want, when I want. What are you now, my AA sponsor? I'm not drunk. I can hold my own, thank you very much." he said harshly.

Lizzie was shocked by his venomous words. She stepped back and looked to Dembe for assistance.

"Raymond, my friend. Why don't you and I take a walk? I think you need some fresh air to clear your head. It's been a busy day. What do you say?" Dembe reached out and almost had the glass when Red swung around, gulped the last bit of liquid, and threw the glass at the fireplace as he walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I will do what I can to calm him down. I swear he isn't normally like this," Dembe said as he followed Red out the door.

Lizzie stood there dumbfounded at what she had just seen. Never in all the time she'd know Red had she seen him this out of control, this aggressive. She was trying to suppress the memories of when Tom would drink and begin throwing things; and hitting things … including her. She knew that Red would never do that; at least, she presumed that he wouldn't.

Now that she was alone and had time to think about all that had been said, her mind began to race with a myriad of questions to which she had no answers. _What on earth did Tom have to do with Germans? Had he hired those men to come after me? Was he working for The Clandestine Production Company, whoever they were? I've never even heard of that company before. Had he actually found me here too, he found me at the Ritz … Why can't he just leave me the hell alone? This is getting out of control. Even a restraining order can't keep him away. What could he possibly want with me? He has his precious Lucy … he told me that she was better than me anyway._

She tried really hard to drag her thoughts away from her abusive ex-boyfriend, and found herself thinking about the increasing conundrum that Red was becoming instead.

 _How is Red taking care of all of these people? How can Kate instantly know who people are … and what on earth is going on with burner phones? Even Dembe seems to know exactly what's going on. What the hell_ _ **is**_ _going on? What other secrets is Red hiding from me? Do I even want to know? Can I trust him as much as I thought? And what snapped inside of Red today?_

She went into the kitchen and grabbed the cleaning supplies and began to clean up the mess that Red had left with the glass and liquor to try and distract her mind from all the confusion that was building up. She sat in front of the fireplace and began to shake the thought of Tom finding her here. This was her last safe place. Between Red and Dembe she had felt invincible, like nothing was ever going to harm her again. But now, this was too close for comfort. The thoughts and feelings she had experienced when she saw the destruction of her apartment came flooding back in sickening waves. Everything was a shambles; and Tom had destroyed everything that she owned and loved. She was grateful that she had that small spot under the floorboards where she had hidden her most precious items. It wasn't much, a small box with a few pictures of her and Sam, the Playbill from _My Fair Lady_ , her old stuffed bunny and a few important documents.

After finishing up the fireplace she decided to continue cleaning the rest of the apartment, despite the fact that Red had a maid service that came in once a week. She hoped that by keeping busy, it would continue to help calm her nerves. Within about an hour the entire apartment looked immaculate, and she stood back to admire her work feeling pleased with herself and a little calmer. She placed the supplies back under the kitchen sink and headed to the bathroom to shower. Her nerves and emotions were still raw from the afternoon. She plugged in her mp3 player and hit random, letting fate decide what would play. She lost herself in the hot water and the music that was blaring from the speakers. The music was a pleasant change from the deafening silence of being alone in the apartment. And yet … the lyrics spoke to her as they never had before when she had listened to _Jewel_ sing this particular tune.

 _Please don't say I love you_

 _Those words touch me much too deeply_

 _And they make my core tremble_

 _Don't think you realize the effect you have over me_

 _It just makes me want to make you near me always_

Red had an effect on her, and she had no idea why. His looks, his touches, his kisses, just his presence, they were all enough to drive her mad. She felt so alone in the apartment with Red gone. It made her feel so vulnerable. She wanted him near her always.

 _And when you look in my eyes_

 _Please know my heart is in your hands_

 _It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms_

 _You have complete power over me_

 _So be gentle if you please, 'cause_

 _Your hands are in my hair, but my heart in in your teeth_

 _And it make me want to make you near me always_

Red was the most chivalrous man that she'd ever met. She often wondered if he was aware of the fact that he held her heart in his hands, and that he had complete power over her. She chuckled at the thought of Saline's words, " _When you love someone, you have no control. That's what love is, being powerless."_ Was she in fact in love with the infamous Raymond Reddington? Was it possible to fall in love in such a short time, after everything that she'd been through? When she left Tom, she had vowed not to get involved with anyone for a long time, swearing off all relationships. But now, here she was in Red's apartment, and had been for the last six months. They even shared a bed last night. She could see the tabloid headline now: _Newly discovered actress found living with Raymond Reddington, see page three for details._ She cringed at the thought. _What is Red involved in? Can I trust him? Can I trust_ _ **any**_ _men? Red told me he would never lie to me._

The atmosphere changed drastically as the song switched to something much harder, and more fitting for her current mood.

 _Wake me up_

 _Wake me up inside_

 _I can't wake up_

 _Wake me up inside_

 _Save me_

 _Call my name and save me from the nothing I've become_

Lizzie felt like Red had saved her; she felt like she was nothing after Tom was done with her. He had abused and traumatized her so badly that she felt and believed that she was worthless, nothing more than a pile of garbage left on the curb to be picked up and sent to the dump; her life had become so dark and lonely. Red had woken her up and made her feel alive again.

 _Now that I know what I'm without_

 _You can't just leave me_

 _Breathe into me and make me real_

 _Bring me to life_

Lizzie curled up into the corner of the shower bench, her back to the opening of the enclosure and wept bitterly. Her heart breaking. She just wanted to feel and be loved. It had been so long since she felt that anyone actually cared about her. She'd gone the last six months thinking that Red could be that for her. She prayed that he could still be that ray of light she could gravitate towards in her darkened cave. She hoped that she wasn't too hideous to love, that there was still something there to love.


	8. Vacation Plans

Red and Dembe made their way outside past the barricades, police and now reporters; they headed down the sidewalk towards the park. Red was furious with both of them. He hadn't been this scared in a long time; not only had he feared he might lose Lizzie, but he had been petrified of losing Dembe as well.

Lizzie was the woman he loved.

But Dembe was the son he'd never had.

Dembe had been at his side for almost twenty five years. After the fire he'd had several operations and then suffered through extensive rehabilitation to repair, as far as was medically possible, the damage that had been done to his back. Dembe had been a victim of abuse in his foster home for many years, and was receiving treatment for burns of his own. The two met one day in the recreation room. Red found Dembe at the chess table alone and joined him, starting to teach the child how to play. And so, a tentative friendship was born between a grieving man and a tormented child. As the weeks went by, Red learned more about Dembe's situation and vowed to do what he could to remove him from the abusive household. But Red had countless months of recovery left, and so was unable to do anything when Dembe was finally released, unfortunately back to the old foster home. However, the boy continued to visit Red when he could. But after a while his visits became less frequent, and Red worried that something had happened. Several weeks after his own release, he was walking home and found a young boy cowering in an alley. As he approached the youth he realized that it was Dembe; he was only fourteen at the time, almost too old to be placed into another foster home. He'd run away after another bad fight with his foster father. He was bruised from head to toe, and had cigarette burns up and down his arms. Red took him in and gave him a warm, loving home and paid for his education. Red was so proud when Dembe graduated from college with his degrees, two majors in languages and a minor in international business. In return, Dembe pledged his life to Red, providing not only constant protection, but also the friendship and a sense of family that Red felt he'd lost the right to have.

"Raymond …"

"Don't start, Dembe."

They continued walking for a while until Red stopped and looked out on the lake. Dembe came up and placed his hand on Red's shoulder.

"Raymond, she's not Carla. This is different… That night, Carla ..." Red cut him off abruptly.

"I said don't start! And I told you NEVER to bring up that night ever again!" Red spat out between gritted teeth.

"Raymond! Stop it! Don't do this to yourself. Elizabeth is safe. Nothing happened to her today. I made sure of that. The Keen issue is becoming troublesome, I agree, and we need to resolve it quickly before it gets completely out of control. We don't know how much Keen knows, or what he is capable of. We don't even know who actually hired him. We may have only seen the tip of the iceberg with him." Dembe said, trying to calm Red down. 'But … we can deal with it, my brother.'

"I understand that this is different. I know that she isn't Carla, I know that." Red paused, contemplating. "Dembe, I can't lose her. I don't know what I would do if I lost Lizzie too… I was so afraid that she was one of the bodies in that lobby. I don't think I could handle losing two women that I love in the same lifetime." Red tried to hold back the tears, the emotional dam ready to burst at any moment. "I realize that I shouldn't even feel the way I do about Lizzie. I'm old enough to be her damn father Dembe, what the hell is wrong with me? I'm so scared I'm going to wake up one of these mornings and she'll be gone, that all this will be just a dream."

"Stop thinking like that, Raymond! We have the added extra security personnel to protect not only her, but you as well. We don't know to what lengths the Clandestine Production Company will go. You know why that fire was set all those years ago, and who it was meant for. You need to tell her the truth about that night."

"Dembe! I know what the purpose of the fire was! I know that Lizzie wasn't supposed to survive it!" The dam broke, and Red took a seat on the nearby bench, weeping. "But I don't know how to do tell her, Dembe."

"You two have a connection and a history, and you tell her the truth by telling her everything about that night. My friend, everything happens for a reason. I know that you may not believe that right now, but it does. Elizabeth is here now, and you are here with her. I believe, without a doubt, that you were meant to be together. "

Red looked up at his friend, grateful for his companionship and his wise words. It was true that Red felt closer to Lizzie than he'd ever felt to Carla. Was there such a thing as soul-mates? And why did he have to wait over twenty years to finally have the opportunity to be with her? He'd watched her grow up from a distance, providing whatever Sam needed to keep her safe. He even set up the scholarships to pay for all of her education. He knew about the abuse with Tom, and it pained him so much that he wasn't in a position at that time to swoop in and save her from that monster.

"I think it's time that we head back, Dembe. I don't want to be away any longer than I have to be. Too much has happened today."

As Red bid Dembe adieu, his nose was flooded with the scent of lemon and bleach as he entered the apartment. He looked around and saw that Lizzie had not only cleaned up the broken glass and scotch left on the floor by his temper tantrum, but had proceeded to clean the entire apartment. He was impressed, it appeared to be a better job than that of the professional crew he paid big money to every week.

He could hear music in the distance and followed it into the bathroom. The lyrics were muffled until he got closer, then they became clearer.

 _Save me_

 _Call my name and save me from the nothing I've become_

 _Now that I know what I'm without_

 _You can't just leave me_

 _Breathe into me and make me real_

 _Bring me to life_

He stood there motionless for a moment, internalizing the meaning of the lyrics. _Does she really feel like she's nothing? Have I made her feel that way? Does she think that I'm going to leave her? What have I done? She must think I'm as bad as Tom._ He knocked on the door and pushed it open slightly to see that the bathroom mirrored that of a sauna, the room was filled to the brim with steam. He tried to call out her name, but the music was much too loud. He crept in and peered around the shower enclosure and saw that she was curled up in a ball on the shower bench, her back to the opening. He searched for a large towel and turned the music off. The sudden silence was quickly filled with her scream from the shower.

"Lizzie!" he said, trying to keep calm. "It's me. Turn off the water and come out. I have a towel for you." He heard her turn the water off and an arm appeared from the opening, waiting for the towel. He handed it to her and she stepped out, her hair dripping wet and matted to her head. He grabbed another towel and began to dry her hair. She looked up at him and despite having sat in the shower, he could tell that she'd been crying for some time, her eyes were completely bloodshot and puffy. She sank into his arms and he held her, comforting her.

"I'm sorry that I made you worry, Red. It wasn't intentional, I promise," she said.

"I know sweetheart, I know. There are things in my past that make me very overprotective, and I let that get the better of me at times, especially today. I shouldn't have thrown the glass, that was wrong of me, and it's not something I usually do. But… I was so scared that I'd lost you. Until Kate called me, I didn't know if your body was one of those on that floor." He could feel her shivering under the towel and he grabbed her robe and threw it around her hoping to warm her up. "I'll leave you to dress, then let's grab some dinner? How does that sound? Maybe some baklava for dessert?" He turned to leave when she grabbed his shirt sleeve.

Barely above a whisper she said, "Red … thank you …"

"For what my dear?"

"Saving me ... I don't know what's wrong with me." She began to cry again.

"There's nothing wrong with you. Oh, Lizzie, there has never been anything wrong with you," he said, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. He hated the fact that Tom had mentally abused her so badly that she felt like she was damaged goods, that **she** was the problem.

"Promise me something, please …" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Anything dear, anything."

"Don't _ever_ leave me," she pleaded.

"Lizzie …" He reached down and turned her face towards his. "Sweetheart, that's a guarantee. I will _never_ leave you, ever. You are stuck with me, forever." He leaned in and kissed her, putting all of his feelings into it, hoping, praying, that she could feel how deep the well of his emotions went into the very core of his being.

She pulled away, and met his eyes. "Red … I don't know how much more of this I can take. Everything with Tom, being stalked, and now German shooters ... I need to get away from this place … after the show, can we … go somewhere, anywhere but here?"

Red leaned up against the counter and pulled her in. "That sounds like a terrific idea. I think we both could use time away. I could leave Kate in charge and have Ressler continue with the children's theatre. There are still renovations that need to be done. Where would you like to go? I will take you wherever you wish to go."

She straightened up slightly, and a faint smile began to form across her face as the wheels started to turn in her head. "Well, I've always wanted to visit Japan … ooh and Hawaii, or California, or maybe Canada. I've never been to any of those places … I've never really been anywhere but New York or New Jersey. I hear Paris is nice this time of year." She paused then her eyes lit up. "I know where we could go! Oh, Red … can we go to Switzerland?" she pleaded.

"Switzerland, huh? Out of the list you just gave me, why there?" He was intrigued.

"I don't know really. It's just so colorful, at least from the pictures I've seen. And I could just imagine curling up beside a roaring fire with you and a cup of cocoa." She blushed. "And skiing. I've never been very good. The last time I went was when Sam was still alive. I never made it off the bunny slope," she scoffed at herself, embarrassed.

"For you, anything. As you wish, my dear." He pulled her in planting kisses on her face and head. "Now, toddle off and get dressed, I'm hungry." He took a playful swipe at her butt as she walked past.

He left her to dress in private, and headed to his own room to change. He sat on the bed and pondered; his thoughts whizzing through his head like the images from an old microfiche machine. He wished that he could just hit a pause button to stop time, so he could make everything right in the world again, at least in her world. He knew that with the looming therapy appointment, things were about to get much worse, before they would get better. His relationships, and his life in general, were never simple. He glanced over at his bedside table and found a card; a note written in Lizzie's handwriting.

 _ **Perhaps it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for each other. - Jane Austen**_ **.**

He just stared at the quote, realizing how accurate it was in describing the two of them. Neither one of them was perfect, far from it, especially him. But, at the end of the day, they completed each other; **his** strengths helped support her weaknesses while her strengths gave him the courage to overcome his own weaknesses. They were like two pieces that fit together perfectly within the grand puzzle called life.


	9. A Burning Desire

Several days later, it was time for Lizzie's hypnosis appointment with Dr. Orchard. She was nervous about the whole treatment, not really knowing what it would entail, or what she would remember. She told him that she was afraid that the hypnosis would be as vivid as her nightmares had been. The last thing either of them wanted was to cause more trauma as a result of whatever memories were uncovered. She was a wreck after her first treatment when she was working through the abuse she had suffered at the hands of Tom Keen. She would go home, alone and lock herself away for at least two days, not eating and unable to sleep. Red reassured her that, this time, it would be different because she wouldn't be doing it alone. He promised her that as long as he was by her side, she would be safe. He suggested that they could pick up dinner on the way home and curl up together on the couch, and he told her that he would not let her go until she was ready for him to do so.

When they arrived, Dr. Orchard had everything arranged for the treatment. Her new therapy was a combination of hypnosis and pharmaceuticals, and was called Recovered Memory Therapy. She explained the procedure and, after receiving Lizzie's consent, they began.

Lizzie lay in a chair similar to a dentist's chair, an IV was placed in her arm that was attached to a saline drip for hydration, heart monitors were placed on her chest to track her vitals, and lastly she was hooked up to a machine that tracked her brain activity. The doctor sat Red next to Lizzie and he placed his hand on her thigh; she instinctively put her hand on top of his. Dr. Orchard began by giving her a sedative intravenously to relax her body and mind.

"Elizabeth, I'm giving you a mild sedative and you're going to feel like you are floating." She paused waiting for the drugs to take effect. "Follow my voice, Elizabeth. I want you to think back to your dream." Lizzie's body began to tense and her heart rate rose. "You need to try and remain calm, Elizabeth. I want you to breathe in … and breathe out … feel the tension floating away from you … the images becoming clearer and clearer … we are going back to your dream … focus on the image of yourself in the dream. I want you to tell me what you see, Elizabeth, in three ... two ... one ..." Lizzie sat motionless, then the monitors started to show that her brain activity was becoming increasingly erratic, off the charts at some points and then it became steadier, calmer, again.

Red analyzed the machines, his stress and anxiety getting the better of him. He had been dreading this appointment all week, just as much as she had been; if not more. He was nervous about how much Lizzie was going to remember from that night. He knew that he should have told her sooner about that night, it was the right thing to do, but he'd been so selfish. Wanting to keep Lizzie all to himself. He was sure that by telling her the truth he would have surely lost her; but now, he ran the risk of losing her anyway for not telling her the truth. He had thought that by not telling her what happened, he was protecting her. She wasn't supposed to be alive after that night; she was one of the intended victims of that fire. But, now, he wished for time over again so that he could prepare her, just a little bit, for what she might remember. So that he could prepare her for what she might learn about him.

He was pleased to have Dr. Orchard doing the treatment, as she was the one that he'd hired to do the initial memory suppression on Lizzie when she was eight. He had talked to her at length, and expressed his concern about the treatments and asked if she could be harmed in any way. Dr. Orchard warned him that it was unpredictable what memories would resurface but assured him, just like the first time, as long as they are done correctly, there should be no issues.

"Elizabeth, nod if you can hear me." Lizzie nodded her head. "Good. Now where are you?"

" _I'm inside a theatre … it's beautiful … the grand staircase, it's huge … there are people everywhere … there are camera flashes."_ She rubbed her eyes unconsciously in response to the memory. "… _the bell is ringing to tell everyone the performance is going to start … I'm in my seat now … there are people in the row in front of me … I feel drawn to them."_

"Who are they Elizabeth? Can you see their faces?"

" _I see a little girl … she has brown curly hair … she's in a red dress … she's talking to me, but I can't hear her … there is a man next to her … he calls her 'sweetheart', but his voice ... it's distorted, almost mechanical. The show is starting, it's Swan Lake."_ Lizzie smiled. " _The little girl, she's excited to see the dancers … the man, he's speaking again."_ Lizzie paused, " _His voice ... I know it."_ Lizzie sat silent for several minutes, her brow furrowed.

Red tensed at Lizzie's words, he knew she was talking about him. He was sitting next to her that night. Lizzie had begged to sit next to him during the performance. She'd been so excited to see Carla and Katerina, her mother, on stage.

"What's going on Elizabeth? What do you see now?" Dr. Orchard pushed.

" _Intermission … I think … I see a man standing in the wings … he has something … a tool, in his hands ..."_ Lizzie's words were cut off as she let out an ear piercing scream that made both the doctor and Red jump. She grabbed Red's hand and pulled it across her chest, curling up into a ball in the chair. She was grasping his hand like a child would cling to their prized stuffed animal during a frightening thunderstorm.

"Lizzie? Are you okay? What happened? Follow my voice, sweetheart," Red said, trying to comfort her.

" _The man with the tool … he went flying … there was a flash …"_ She sat quiet for a moment, then the monitors began to go wild again. " _Look out! … Help!"_ she screamed.

"Lizzie, what do you see?" Red asked.

" _Debris … everywhere … beams fell on people, they are trapped … the dancers, they were crushed on stage. I'm frozen! Why can't I move?"_ she said frantically.

Red's heart sank and his hands began to tremble. He remembered all of this, some of the pieces she recalled were distorted, and many of the details were missing, but it was enough for him to feel like he was reliving all of it. He began to cry quietly. The memory of his wife and daughter dying in front of him crushed his heart, as once again he realized there was nothing he could have done to do save them or stop the terrible events that the man in the wings had set in motion.

Red had been the executive producer for the show, and it was opening night. He felt he'd been even more excited that the girls had been to see Carla and Katerina on stage together. The stage director was Lizzie's biological father, Isaak Rostova; that was a name that Red would never forget. He was the man that started the fire, and forever changed the lives of thousands of people. Isaak took away everything that was dear to Red, and he was grateful that Isaak died in the fire that night. Because otherwise Red would have tracked him down and killed him.

" _The man, who was next to the girl ... he's trying to get to the stage … there is another little girl now … I can see his face, he is trying to grab the little girl…"_ She let out a loud gasp, and tears were streaming down her face, and she was starting to flail.

"Lizzie, turn around. You don't want to see this … it's time to wake up now. Lizzie …" Red was attempting to hold her down. "Shhh, sweetheart, turn around." He whispered.

" _His back … it's on fire! And the brunette girl, she is beside him, holding a stuffed bunny, crying and shaking him … she's hurt, her wrist is burned … I can see an opening in the wall … the man, he has both of the girls … and he ran out."_ Lizzie was sobbing now, and her vitals were climbing to dangerous levels.

"Ok, it's time to stop. She can't take much more." Dr. Orchard grabbed a syringe and slowly emptied it into the IV as she spoke. "Elizabeth … it's time to wake up. You are beginning to come back down from your flight … you are slowly feeling your weight again. I want you to wake up and open your eyes, in three … two … one."

Lizzie slowly opened her eyes and met Red's. "Red … it was Sam, I saw him. I think he was there, but … I don't ever remember him having scars on his back like that. Was … was I the little brunette girl then? Do you know about this night?"

"Yes," was all he could manage to say.

"Sam never mentioned any fire. Why didn't you tell me about this when we met? What do you know about the night of this fire?"

Red held on to her; this was what he had been afraid of. She knew. He'd lost so much that night and, in a way, he had lost Lizzie too, sending her away to live with Sam. His eyes pleaded with her for understanding. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you , Lizzie. I wanted to, so many times; but there was never a good time."

She pulled away and asked, "Why don't I remember this ever happening? Who are the other people in the dream? How are we connected, besides this fire?"

"It's complicated. There is so much more than what you remembered today. I would put you in so much danger if I told you everything right now," Red said, sighing.

"I don't care how much danger you would put me in. I need to know what happened, Red."

"You want to know, there is a difference. And given the current situation, I'm not going to tell you everything. The rest will come in time, I promise," he told her.

"Fine! I will find out for myself then." She went to stand, and Red tired to help her. She ripped her arm from his hand. "I've got it." She was angry now, he could not only hear it, he could feel it too. Angry. And confused. And she had every right to feel like that. And it was all his fault.

 _Dammit. I knew this was going to happen. I can't let her just walk away like this. She is in too much danger. And she's confused. If I let her walk away now, who knows what will happen. You selfish prick!_ he thought, as he watched Lizzie grab her things. He got up from his seat, grabbed his hat and coat and walked out behind her. As they got to the car, she quickly walked past Dembe who was holding the door open for her. He looked to Red, then back at Lizzie.

"Elizabeth, if you desire to be alone, at least let Dembe take you wherever you wish to go. I'll walk," Red called out to her. She turned around, stood motionless for a few seconds, then headed towards the car and climbed in, closing the door firmly behind her.

"Keep her safe, Dembe. Don't let her out of your sight. I will walk from here. Just keep me informed, please." Red gave the dark man a pat on the back. He stood on the sidewalk and watched as the black Mercedes drove away, not knowing if he would ever see Lizzie again.


	10. Soul Searching & A Promise

**NOTES: Hi guys. Just FYI: this story is completed, and has been since about July of 2015, but as many of you may be able to relate, life sometimes just bites you in the a$$ and refuses to let go. I thought that I could get back on the bandwagon at the beginning of the year, however my father passed away early in January, and I have not had much *umph* to want to do much of anything! So here is another chapter. I will attempt to post these last few chapters as time permits. I would just *hate* to give it all to you at once. ;) Hope you enjoy. Please note, as the last chapters will get very dark!**

* * *

Red began the walk back home. Cutting through the park he found a secluded bench and sat, watching people in the distance walk by; some just by themselves, others with pets, but it was the couples that struck him the hardest. He hated when Lizzie was mad, especially at him. But now … with everything that she had discovered … she might never stop being mad with him ever again. He had been incredibly foolish not to at least begin to tell her something of the truth. And he had known that once Dr. Orchard started playing around inside her head that this was the likely result. He wasn't normally a man to bury his head in the sand, but with this, with Lizzie, he had been nothing but the proverbial ostrich. Dr. Orchard had tried to warn him but he had refused to see what was right in front of his face, and now he was paying the price. And so was Lizzie. He had failed her. He felt like he was nothing but a miserable failure. He contemplated if he was even able to repair the damage that had been done.

He thought back to the first day he'd seen her in the wings of the stage, she had been so radiant, so innocent and so unknowing of what he had in store for her. " _I'm going to make you famous."_ He had only ever said that to one other person, Katerina Rostova, and that too had ended badly. He loathed the thought of losing Lizzie, hell he'd almost lost her once before twenty-six years ago. There were only three people that made it out alive that night, Sam, Lizzie and himself. And that was a miracle in and of itself. How they survived was still a mystery in his mind. His injuries alone should have killed him.

He thought about Carla, and how beautiful she looked that night before the show. And Jenny with her blonde curls bouncing with every movement. The days before opening night, Red took Carla, Jenny, Lizzie and Katerina out and they all shopped for hours looking for dresses for the after show party. Saks Fifth Avenue was the winner in the end with Oscar de la Renta designing every gown. The girls were happy just playing dress-up while their mothers were fitted for their outfits. It was one of the few things that Red felt he could do to make the women in his life feel special.

It all seemed so long ago now. And yet, somehow, almost yesterday.

He remembered the young child Lizzie had been. And he thought of the woman she had become. The woman he had been sharing an apartment with for the last six months. During which time he had quietly and unwittingly fallen in love with her.

Become used to her being there. Every day. Become used to her foibles, her fancies, her likes, her dislikes.

Become used to … her.

He got up and starting walking again, humming a tune while thinking of the words that accompanied it; it was almost surreal how much he felt like his character, Professor Higgins.

 _I've grown accustomed to her face_

 _She almost make the day begin_

 _I've grown accustomed to the tune_

 _That she whistles night and noon_

 _Her smiles, her frowns_

 _Her ups, her downs_

 _Are second nature to me now_

Her smiles, they made him so happy. Everything about her, was perfect to him. He could read her like an open book, he knew all of her tells. Her chipper attitude made even the worst of his nightmares disappear.

 _Like breathing out and breathing in_

 _I was serenely independent_

 _And content before we met_

 _Surely I could always_

 _Be that way again_

 _And yet I've grown accustomed_

 _To her looks_

 _Accustomed to her voice_

 _Accustomed to her face_

 _Oh my dear Lizzie, what have you done to me? I never thought that I would find another woman to love as much as I loved Carla, but alas, you have stolen my heart. You used to be the last thing on my mind at night, and the first thing I thought of in the morning, but ever since that first night we shared a bed … you are now the last thing I_ _ **see**_ _as I close my eyes at night, and the first thing I gaze upon as the morning sun hits your perfect body. Lizzie, how I love you. Damn, damn, damn, damn!_

His phone pulled him from his lingering thoughts.

Dembe was calling to check in. Red listened as he explained that Lizzie demanded to go to the French restaurant in Hoboken, where they frequently ate. How she'd ranted and complained the whole way there, vowing that she would never return to the apartment ever again, she would stay in a hotel if she had to. Red thanked Dembe over and over again for keeping her safe, and told him that whatever she wanted, to oblige her. As Red hung up, his heart sank at the thought of Lizzie staying anywhere but where he was. He didn't want to be clingy or obsessive, but he hated not knowing what was going on with her. He hated not being by her side to keep her safe. He felt some comfort knowing that she was with Dembe.

The sun was beginning to set as he made the last turn towards their block. As he exited the park, there was a flower peddler on the corner, and he stopped to peruse the blooms. His eyes were immediately drawn to a luscious bouquet of fire and ice roses. Their white and red color was the most vibrant he'd ever seen. He paid the lady generously for two dozen and quickly made his way home.

Once in the comfort and solitude of the lonely apartment, he changed into more casual attire, then headed to the kitchen to find a vase large enough for the grand flowers. He arranged them just right and placed them in the center of the dining table, standing back to admire their beauty. He searched the desk for a small card and wrote two simple words: _I'm Sorry._ He wasn't sure if she would ever see them, but if she did, he hoped that she would understand the true and deep feeling behind them.

He grabbed the bottle of scotch and a glass before settling himself on the couch with the remote in hand. As he flipped on the the television he found that _My Fair Lady_ was in the DVD player, ready to be watched. He couldn't help but give an ironic chuckle to himself at the subtle irony that the entire day had been encompassed in. He settled down and began to watch the movie, taking in every detail and movement of Audrey Hepburn, like he'd never seen her on the screen before. After a while, he no longer saw her , he only saw Lizzie.

The black and white dress during the Ascot horse race scenes hugged her every curve and left him feeling aroused, longing for her touch again as he imagined Lizzie dressed just like that. Then, the embassy ball scene appeared and a single tear rolled down his cheek. He remembered the brief moment when he had seen Lizzie during her costume fitting for the dress she would wear. Saline had surpassed his expectations. He'd managed to recreate the dress almost perfectly, and when he saw it on Lizzie … he was speechless. His anxiety levels increased as he watched Professor Higgins and Eliza fight, reliving the moments of anger and despair with Lizzie from earlier. And finally, as the movie came to a close, he watched as the professor walked into the library and turned on the gramophone, listening to Eliza's recorded voice , then he heard it. It was in unison and perfect, " _I w'shed me face 'n 'ands b'for I come, I did."_ He spun around to see Lizzie standing there in the entryway. He fumbled with the remote to turn off the movie and stood up, not knowing if he should go to her, or just remain stationary. He could tell by the faint look of surprise on her face that he must have had shock written all over his own. As she slowly made her way towards him, he mirrored her movements, until she stopped, her eyes drawn to the flowers on the table.

Gasping she tried to speak. "Red … the roses … oh … they're gorgeous. How did you know?"

"Know what?" he said, trying to steady his voice, unconsciously tilting his head to one side.

"That … that they're my favorite flower, even down to the type of rose? I've never told anyone that; granted, I've never received flowers from anyone before either. Where in the world did you find them, and in such a large quantity? There have to be at least two dozen here." She let out a soft chuckle and his heart skipped a beat or two. Maybe everything was going to be alright. Maybe she would understand without him having to explain.

"I bought them from a flower girl on the corner. Have I ever told you about when I lived on the grounds of an old manor many years ago. The owner was a wonderful amateur gardener and taught me a thing or two about roses. Did you know ...' He paused, unsure whether he should continue. How much should he reveal?

She took up the thread of words, her eyes half-smiling, half-crying, her voice uncertain and choked with emotion. "... that the fire and ice rose is unique, its symbolism meaning eternal love; even the number of roses in a bunch or," she reached out an unsteady hand to touch the blooms, "bouquet has its own significance. A simple dozen just says 'I care about you', but two dozen says so much more. It is meant to say, 'There are twenty-four hours in the day, and I think about you every hour of every day' … a rose to embody each one of those hours."

"Lizzie …" He started to move closer, when she cut off his words by putting a hand up, stopping him dead in his tracks.

"Look, Red … I think that I am starting to understand why you did what you did. Dembe and I had a nice long talk, he couldn't tell me anything important because he said you'd kill him, or fire him at least, but he did manage to convince me that you are trying to act for the best. There are so many questions that I _need_ answers to, and I will try, the best I can, to be patient for those answers. But please, no more secrets … promise me that when the time comes, and I know it will come, I get the whole story." She sighed heavily, looking as if she'd just divulged the deepest, darkest confession.

"Lizzie, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, I really am, but I promise, when the danger has passed, when Tom and the Clandestine have been taken care of, I will tell you everything; about me, about your past, or **our** past rather, about everyone around us and how they all fit into place. You may feel like someone has thrown all the puzzle pieces into the air, and where they'll land will be determined by how well I can clean this mess up. But for now, know that this is for the best, and I need the necessary amount of time to take care of the dangers in front of us. I only did this to keep you safe." He closed the space between them and held her for what seemed like an eternity. "How about I run you a nice hot bath, and I can work out some of those tight muscles again," he said in a flirtatious tone. She looked up and gave him a coy smile.

He headed towards the bedroom, stopping for just a moment to add music to the mix. He entered the bathroom and drew her bath, adding lavender bath salts while singing along to the song playing. Lizzie undressed and pulled on her robe, meeting him in there.

"I didn't know you sang outside of the theatre," she said, pleasantly surprised.

He stood up and pulled her in, slowly dancing with her as he sang.

 _Here we are, on Earth, together_

 _It's you and I, God has made us_

 _Fall in love, it's true_

 _I've really found someone like you_

He gazed deep into her eyes. He loved her, without a doubt in his mind. Hell, he'd been smitten with her their first week working together. He had done everything in his power in the beginning to find time to be with her. He hated the days when they were at odds, but he was ready and willing to lay down his life for her, he'd kill for her if he had to, and be whatever she needed, whenever she needed it. As he continued to serenade her, tears began to glisten in her eyes and a ravishingly beautiful smile formed across her face.

 _Will it say the love you feel for me_

 _Will it say that you'll be by my side_

 _To see me through_

 _Until my life is through_

He wanted to share the rest of his life with her. He knew in the back of his mind that it was much too soon to feel the way he did, and he had no intentions of making anything permanent, not yet at least. But he'd never lost so much sleep as he did at the moment lying next to her at night, gazing upon her sleeping body in all its glory. She'd never gone back to her own bed after that first night they spent together. Every night they'd lie there and talk for what felt like hours, before he would pull her into him. Within minutes she'd be asleep in his arms, and the nightmares were gone. As long as she was in his bed, she never woke up screaming.

She'd truly given him the opportunity to love, and be loved, again. He never thought that he could be as happy as he was right now in his life. Her smiles, her frowns, her ups, her downs, were all second nature to him now. He'd grown accustomed to her face, and how she'd make the day begin. Loving her was like breathing out and breathing in. He didn't want to know what his life would be like without her in it, and he couldn't bear the thought of it.

 _Well, in my mind_

 _We can conquer the world_

 _In love, you and I_

 _You and I, you and I ..._


	11. Kinks in the System

Opening night had finally arrived. Red made sure Parker worked with everyone to ensure that the choreography was perfect, especially for the lavish embassy ball scene. If nothing else, Red wanted that scene to be perfect. While the rest of the company didn't know the intricate details of why, the added security allowed everyone to relax, especially Lizzie. Since the assault at The Greens, Red had limited the exposure that Lizzie had to the press, and there was to be no photography until the issues with Tom were resolved. She was only doing one-on-one interviews with a select group of reporters that Red had checked out before they could do their story. She'd just finished with one when Kate came and got her for hair and make-up.

Lizzie was in the dressing room applying the finishing touches to her make-up when she heard a loud thump against the far wall, next to the door, that made her jump. She slowly cracked the door open enough to see Eliot standing over a body. Unsure of what had happened she quickly closed the door and went back to her dressing table. She heard Red in the hall, barking orders to remove the body, making her jump again in her seat. After what seemed like an eternity, he entered the room.

"Who was that, Red?" she asked in a shaky tone.

She watched his face from her mirror and could tell that he was choosing his words carefully. "No more secrets …" she warned.

He walked over and sat on the small couch next to her dressing table. "No more secrets … It was Tom." he said deflated.

Stumbling over her words she managed to say, "What? How? I thought …" She shook her head. "How did he get past everyone?"

"I'm not sure. His actions have gotten more brazen and out of control. I put a tail on him after the apartment attack, but unfortunately my tail is no longer with us. He was found in an abandoned warehouse, that looks to have been used as a safehouse of sorts. I've just spoken to Baz, and we think he came in with the catering crew. There was another body found behind a dumpster about a block away, his throat was slashed." He paused and composed himself again. "Lizzie, Eliot is the one that found Tom and knocked him out. Eliot and Baz are with Tom now, so let's put this behind us for now. We have a show to do. Remember, as long as I'm here, you are safe." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss, and kicked him out so she could change.

The issue with Tom was the first of many that night. Things were wonky from the start. Aram was having the hardest time keeping the technical aspects of the show going. The lighting was off, the sound was distorted and cues were missed. Next, despite all of the rehearsals that Parker had with the cast, everyone was out of sync during the dance routines. Luckily no one was injured, the cast escaping with just a few bruises and scrapes. The biggest issue of the night, however, that infuriated and angered Red no end, was that the backdrop for one of the final scenes began to falter and the main beam came flying across the stage, barely missing Lizzie and Red. It was a miracle that the show received any good reviews at all.

Despite the aggravation of opening night, the subsequent shows managed to be perfect and sold out. The one thing that seemed to work the way it was supposed to was Lizzie's hard learned Cockney accent. She nailed it night after night, and he swore that she sounded better than Audrey Hepburn when she spoke.

In the days following the disastrous first performance, Red did his own digging into the issues. Aram found that his system had been hacked and controlled remotely throughout the evening. Red knew that Kate, having knowledge of the night of the fire, took any and every precaution to ensure the safety of the stage. She found that the ropes that held the rigging and the beam had been tampered with. After running the fingerprints through every database, they discovered that Meera was to blame. Red confronted her and learned that she was also employed by none other than The Clandestine Production Company. Meera was quickly removed and Red brought in his own trusted publicist, Samar Navabi. She was a beautiful Iranian-American publicist and actress. She had long curly, dark brown hair, and the physique of a model who walked the catwalk and worked out regularly at the gym. Red had found her about ten years back and helped her get into the business, assisting her from the shadows, pulling whatever strings he needed to.

Closing night proved to be worth all of the pain and frustration that had gone before. It was sheer perfection; everyone was on their marks, the dancing was flawless, and Lizzie was exquisite in her embassy gown. Thanks to the distractions and worries of the previous shows, Red had not found the opportunity to truly enjoy the sight. But tonight, watching the spectacle, as she descended the stairs, wearing her perfect replica of the original dress designed for the film by Sir Cecil Beaton, it was utterly breathtaking. _Where have I been the last two weeks? Has she always looked this good in that gown? I need to give Saline a bonus for his amazing work. How I have missed this? Oh my, she is angelic, eat your heart out, Audrey Hepburn,_ he thought to himself. The beads and sequins sparkled gloriously in the light against the cream background of the dress; and the jewelry, if it had been real diamonds and not just fake gems, would have been worth millions. Even her hair and makeup were identical to Audrey's. As the lights blackened for a backdrop change, Red leaned in and whispered softly, "Lizzie, you look ravishing, oh my… I think I need a drink to calm my nerves." He nipped at her ear, right before the lights came back up. The curtain calls were numerous and the standing ovations made his heart leap. He was glad that after this show they could take some much needed time away from the hectic life of the theatre.

They had planned the after party together and she'd begged him to reserve the USO style club in the East Village, he of course granted her wish. Time period attire was a must. They went shopping for a new dress earlier in the week, this time a black Rockabilly 1950's style dress. It had a low cut mock blouse bodice, collared lapels, belted waist, and a wide flared skirt with red tulle peeking from beneath the hem. She paired the dress with red stiletto pumps that strapped at the ankle.

Red arranged to have only a few members of the press present that night. Wanting to limit the cast to any unnecessary exposure. The company ate, danced and drank the night away. After a few interviews Lizzie retreated to the table where Red was seated. He excused himself from the table a short time later and headed to the bar for a refill on their drinks.

Lizzie sat and admired the view, mainly of Red's backside; it was a lovely sight. He was talking to a few reporters and she overheard his boasting. It struck her hard; she'd never heard him talk so arrogantly before. Was it the alcohol talking again, or was he just trying to be funny sticking somewhat to his character?

" _She's a marvelous creature, is she not? It's all thanks to my teaching. She would truly be nothing without me, don't you agree? I have made Miss Milhoan famous, don't you see. Perhaps I should start my own school for linguistics. I could be just as good, if not better, than our dear professor."_

That was it, she'd heard enough. She didn't care if it was the alcohol or just Red being Red. She retreated to the women's bathroom where she found an upholstered bench in a dim corner and began to cry angrily. After a while, Sophie entered to freshen up, and Lizzie caught her eyes in the mirror.

"Elizabeth! What in the world are you doing in here? Raymond is looking everywhere for you. Oh no, what's the matter? How long have you been in here crying?"

"It's nothing. Just a bad night I guess," Lizzie said, between quiet sobs.

"Well, that's a lie if I'd ever heard one, and trust me, I've heard them all being married to Nate," she chuckled. "This is about Raymond isn't it? He was out there boasting like a giant gorilla pounding on his chest. I've seen him do it before with other casts. It's simply maddening. Funny though, I've never seen him do it to this extreme, and it's never been about just one person. It's almost like …" Her words trailed off and she sat next to Lizzie as she began to think, and it was like she suddenly had an epiphany. "You know, I had a hunch about the two of you. Even Nate said something to me about it, and he is completely oblivious to matters of the heart. I think this confirms it though. Elizabeth, there can only be one explanation for his prideful behavior. He's undoubtedly _in love_ with you."

Lizzie looked skeptically up at Sophie. She'd figured that he _loved_ her, but she never thought about him being _in love_ with her. There was such a subtle difference between the two; a simple line drawn in the sand, that with a breath of air would disappear. Those damn words came back to haunt her once again. " _When you love someone, you have no control. That's what love is, being powerless."_ He'd talked about starting with a clean slate weeks ago, and they had been more open with their feelings, but she still felt something was missing. Was this it? Was it just a simple paradigm shift that needed to occur?

"Still that's no excuse for his behavior," Lizzie spat.

"You're right. But if anyone knows what it's like to be with someone like Raymond, it's me. I swear at times I honestly believe Nate and Raymond were separated at birth," Sophie joked. "You haven't been with him long enough to really get to know him, and he has a very 'complicated' past. But once you do, and you get past that suit of armor he puts on everyday, you will see just how wonderful he truly is. I've only seen him _in love_ with one other woman and that was his wife. When he loves someone, they are his everything; he worshiped the ground his wife walked on and he would have laid down his life for her in a heartbeat. I think it's safe to say that he's ready to do the same for you. "

"I'm not that special, trust me. I'm pretty broken. What do you know about his past? You two grew up together, you must know quite a bit about him," Lizzie probed.

Sophie laughed. "More than I care to admit at times, but there are things that are better left for Raymond to tell you. It's not my place to divulge those details. Trust me, Elizabeth, he will come around. There is a method to his madness. That's what makes him so good at what he does, not just in the theatre, but in all aspects of his life." Sophie paused before continuing. "And, you are clearly very special, to him. Everyone can see it. The way he looks at you, the way he treats you. Do you think he would have opened up his home to just any actress? Look, I know that we've only worked together for a short time, but if you need anything, even to talk, just give me a call, okay?" She gave Lizzie a hug and left.

Lizzie cleaned herself up and had a talk with herself in the mirror before heading back out. " _Alright, Liz. You can continue to be mad at him, which you know doesn't do much good, or you can slap a smile on your face and deal with this. For once tell him how you feel. Tell him how he pissed you off. You are both adults, stop acting like a stupid prepubescent brat."_

Red was back at their table waiting for her. As she approached she tried to put a smile on her face and appear to be having a good time, but she knew that Red would see right through it, or so she thought.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Are you alright? You were gone for quite a while."

"I'm fine, just tired, I think," she lied, forcing the smile. _Deal with this, Liz! Don't let it fester._

"Do you want to head home? We don't have to stay. Perhaps a massage will help ease you?" he suggested flirtatiously.

Lizzie nodded and they left. The car ride home was one sided as Red did most of the talking, mainly about the questions the reporters had asked him. As hard as she tried she couldn't tune out his bragging, and her anger and frustrations began to surface again. She was beginning to taste the metallic flavor of blood in her mouth as she continued to chew the inside of her cheek. It took every ounce of restraint she had not to punch him in the face.


	12. The Creature has Feelings

Dark, very dark. Trigger warning to those that cannot handle extreme violence, especially towards women.

* * *

Lizzie was furious with Red by the time they got back home. She wanted so badly to blame his boasting on all of the alcohol that he'd consumed, but even at his worst, she had never heard him be so arrogant and prideful before. He managed to continue the boasting the entire way home, and she swore she heard Dembe scoff several times from the front seat.

He walked through the door, not even holding it for her as he'd done in the past, and dropped his hat on the entry table before moseying over to the sofa. Lizzie set her coat and purse down next to his hat on the table, and kicked off her heals.

"Ah, my dear Eliza, it was a truly magnificent evening was it not?" Red said from the living room, his words catching her off guard. He'd never called her Eliza.

As she entered the kitchen to grab a cup for some tea, she heard him begin to sing Colonel Pickering's congratulatory song following Eliza's splendid performance at the embassy, increasing her irritation towards him.

 _Tonight, old man, you did it!_

 _You did it! You did it! You said that you would do it,_

 _And indeed you did. I thought that you would rue it;_

 _I doubted you'd do it. But now I must admit it_

 _That succeed you did. You should get a metal_

 _Or be even made a knight._

Lizzie threw the cup she had pulled from the cabinet across the room where it hit the wall with a satisfying crash and pulled Red from his song; he stood up quickly from the couch almost falling again.

"What the hell was that for, Lizzie? That was a nice cup too." She could tell that he was completely oblivious to her anger.

"I can't believe that you … you think that, **you** , are the reason … I'm the way I am. I thought that we were EQUALS! Am I just a plaything for you, Red? Some … some thing that you can just manipulate into whatever you want? Like a piece of play dough? Don't I matter to you anymore?" She stood there just staring at him.

"What are you talking about? Of course you matter, my dear." He started to walk towards her, stumbling most of the way to the breakfast bar. He took a seat on the stool before continuing. "I told you, I was going to make you famous, and I have. Look at you. _I_ have made you into a star, Lizzie." His words stung her.

 _Was this the only reason he brought me into his theatre, to mold me into whatever he wanted? To reinvent his name by making 'me' famous. The press was all over him tonight, not me,_ she thought to herself.

He stood up again and walked into the kitchen, standing next to her. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. "It's only natural for you to be anxious after a night like tonight. But it's all over now, nothing more to worry about. In a few days we will be off on our vacation. Away from the theatre."

She pushed his arms away. "You don't get it do you? I'm not anxious about anything. I'm pissed, Reddington! I'm furious that you would talk as if I'm nothing more than some acting student that you can cast off when you're done with them. Is that all I am to you? After everything we've been through? Because that's what it feels like!"

"What is it that you want me to say, Lizzie?" She heard his voice sober up. He put his hand across the back of her neck and drew her closer to him, pulling her chin up with the forefinger of his other hand. Her emotions were conflicted and colliding within her. She wanted to kiss him, thinking that it would make the whole situation go away, but then again, she just wanted to slap him. She felt so hurt. His lips brushed ghostly past hers. He pulled away, meeting her eyes. "Lizzie, you know how I feel. You don't need me to say it."

"And how the hell would **you** know what **I** need to hear or not?! Just because we live together you think you know what's best for me?" she spat at him, pulling farther away, his tight grip keeping her from pushing him completely aside.

"I know more about you than you think …" he said, his words stopping abruptly as if he'd said something he shouldn't have; instant regret showing in his eyes.

"And just what is that supposed to mean? What? Have you been stalking me too, like Tom? Just how much do you know about me? What am I to you. How the hell are we connected? It's really about time that you started sharing a few things with me!" She was yelling now.

"That is just a distraction. This is not the time to be discussing this, and I refuse to have this conversation with you right now, especially if you continue to do so at this volume, " he said, each and every word stinging harder and harder.

She stood there dumbfounded. She managed to get enough force to pull away. Taking a step back, she swung and slapped him across the face as hard as she could.

The force of her slap made Red grab the edge of the counter. He looked back at her, and all she could see was darkness and distance; he had entirely shut down as a wall came up between them. She'd only slapped him one other time, and he'd **never** hit her back. He turned, walked towards the door and grabbed his hat from the hall table. She followed at a distance behind him.

"Where are you going, Red? It's one a.m.," Lizzie asked as she saw him go for the handle of the door.

"I think we need some time away from each other ... to cool down. I'll be back later." He opened the door, and then paused. "Lizzie … I'm sorry …" She heard his quiet words trail off as he walked out. She grabbed the door and slammed it behind him, nodding her head in satisfaction.

She slumped into the overstuffed armchair and began to cry, allowing her thoughts to envelop her. _What's changed? We seemed to be so good together, so perfect … but now, it's like he doesn't know me at all; it's like he doesn't even care. Why do I feel like I'm more of an object than a person to him now? Was it just the alcohol talking tonight … or … is this how he really feels about me? He said that I apparently know how he feels about me … but … I don't know anymore. I thought that he … loved me. He's never come out and said it. Although neither have I … do I … do we … is that what's between us? Does he love me? Do I love him? This is the first time that we've ever fought this badly. And I'm always the hot headed one too. What was I expecting? The perfect fairytale relationship with the …_

The sound of the door handle rattling, pulled her from her thoughts. She felt butterflies fill her stomach as she approached the door thinking that it was Red trying to get in again. As she reached for the handle, the door flew open knocking her against the entry table, her head hitting the wall, dazing her slightly. She looked up in fear as Tom stood there staring at her. She thought quickly, trying to decide on a suitable escape option. Tom was blocking the only way out of the building. As she started to move towards the living room he managed to trip her, her face landing hard on the wood floor, her nose feeling as though it was broken. She tried to get up, but she felt his weight on top of her. He flipped her over, pinning her body and arms to the floor between his legs. She was squirming, trying to break free, her legs kicking. He reached down and grabbed her neck squeezing until she didn't have any energy left to kick. She could feel the room spinning, he let go of her neck, his hands moving to the hair on the top of her head. As he grabbed two fistfuls of hair, he started to lecture her; in between statements he picked up her head and slammed it into the floor.

"So, this is where I find you hiding out from me? Shacking up with some old bastard … some has-been, washed up piece of shit producer? So, have you moved on from acting to … what? Selling your body?" He let out a loud laugh. "Can't imagine what the hell you think you can get for this body … what's he pay you, a hundred bucks tops?! I guess I was right when I wrote that stuff on your apartment wall … Liz, you are a slut! I told you a long time ago, you are **mine**!" Tom paused before continuing. "You know Liz, you brought this all on yourself. If you had just been the obedient and dutiful woman that I wanted, none of this would have happened. But, oh no, you decided that you had a brain in that pitiful little head of yours, and you could just run off and do whatever you wanted. I mean, you must be dumber than dirt, because it only took Lucy having the shit beat out of her, twice, I think , before I got it through her thick skull. Now she is at my every beck and call, like a woman should be."

His hands moved from her hair back to her throat again. Her vision started to blacken and she tried to fight it, knowing that if she didn't she would never wake again. She mustered enough strength to fling her leg up and kick him in the back of his neck. It was sufficient force to throw him off balance, his hands coming off of her throat, and it allowed her to get her arms out and punch him across the face, knocking him completely away from her. She managed to get up on all fours and crawl to the bedroom. As she went to stand, Tom was right there behind her and grabbed her foot, pulling her back down to the floor. She was scraping the carpet; trying to get whatever leverage she could to pull away, she was almost at the foot of the bed. She felt him tying something around her ankles; she looked back and saw that Tom had grabbed one of Red's ties. With her feet now tied together, he grabbed her legs and pulled her towards him. He flipped her over again, and sat on her, harder this time, slamming the air from her lungs, she lay there gasping. As he sat on her, he began hitting her, each blow harder than the one before it. She felt as if he was going to knock the brain from her skull as the blows were followed by the sound of cracks. She could feel her body slowly go into shock from the pain and she felt her face begin to swell. The darkness began to envelop her again. This time as the blackness devoured her, she hoped that Tom would make the end of this torture quick. As she felt consciousness slipping away , she thought to herself, _I'm so sorry Red, please forgive me for everything._

When she woke, much to her surprise she was still alive, but now she was tied to the head of the massive bed, her body completely naked except for the many bruises up and down her torso that she could see beginning to bloom on her body, and which were beginning to feel tender and savagely sore. Tom sat perched on the edge of a stool at the foot of the began to run through her again.

"Ah, the skank finally awakes, " he spat at her. "It's about damn time. What? Did you think I was going to just fuck and run?" He laughed. "Oh, no … You _will_ be awake for everything I have in store for you. It's bad enough you decided to take a nap while I was only at your face. You missed the rest of the beating."

She watched as he got up from the stool, his hand at his belt buckle, undoing it and pulling down his pants Despite her frivolous attempts to resist, he removed the tie that bound her ankles together and forced her legs open. She could feel his hands slide up towards her most intimate area and it made her nauseous.

"I've told you before and I'm gonna say it again Liz, you are **mine** … and if I can't have you, well, then, I'm not going to leave you in any condition for anyone else to have or even desire you. I still don't see what anyone would want with you … I only took you in because you were a helpless little bitch … well, that and the fact that's what I was hired for. That's right Liz, I was **paid** to play house with you."

Lizzie was sick of hearing him talk, she just wanted him to do what he was going to do, and kill her. "Who paid you? You know what nevermind, I don't want to know. Just shut the fuck up, and get this done and over with … just kill me already, I know that's what you have planned. I know you never truly loved me …" Her words were cut off by yet another blow to her head.

"How dare you talk to me like that, you little whore. I certainly did love you, I loved beating the shit out of you, **every** … **single** … **time**." He kneed her in the crotch to emphasize his point. "Mmmm Liz, tell me, is your precious Daddy Reddington a decent lover? I assume he can't be much of one, keeping in mind how old he is. How does it feel to get screwed by a man old enough to be your father? You're sicker than I thought. I wonder if you are still as tight as I remember … Just leave it to perfect Tom to show you what _real_ pleasure is."

She cringed as Tom pushed her legs apart farther with his knees and, despite her efforts to twist away, knelt there gloating, his erect member in hand, and she braced herself for the worst. A movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She took one last deep breath before speaking. "You know what Tom, you're wrong … you're not perfect." Just as Tom reached up to take another swing at her, she watched as Red emerged from the shadows, grabbed Tom and flung him furiously across the room. She heard a loud crash as he collided with something hard as he landed.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Dembe emerge from the other room. He made his way to the bed and untied her from the headboard, then grabbed a blanket to cover her body with. She sat up just enough to see the gaping hole in the wall caused by the force of Tom's body. She stared as Red picked Tom up, and dragged him out of the bedroom; she heard the sound of glass and wood breaking in the living room. She tried to get up, but Dembe stopped her.

"Lay back, Elizabeth. Please rest. Raymond will be right back, I promise." Dembe's words were soothing to her ears. She lay back on the bed, resting her head on a pillow that Dembe placed behind her.

"Dembe," she begged, gasping for his arm. "Please … tell Raymond … I'm … I'm so sor…" Her words were cut off as the shock of what had happened caught up with her body and she lost consciousness once again.


	13. Broken Promises

**WARNING CHARACTER DEATH**

* * *

The slam of the door caused Red to jump slightly as he walked down the hall towards the elevator, rubbing the back of his neck. "Weren't you ever taught not to slam doors, Lizzie?" he muttered to himself, pulling his phone out. He called Dembe, asking him to meet him at the café on the corner. He needed someone, anyone, to talk to. His thoughts were racing as he made his way down the street. _I don't get it … She was magnificent tonight. Despite all the issues, she'd been perfect every night. The press was all over her; trying to get whatever tidbit they could from her. We spent eight tedious weeks training and preparing for this show. I made her into the marvelous creature she is. She's become famous because of …_ _ **me!**_ Red paused suddenly and shook his head at the idea taking shape in his mind. It was like a light bulb had been switched on. He finally understood why she was so mad at him. _Oh, good grief, what the hell have I done now? My damn pride! It's made me act like a righteous son of a bitch. Pride … the subtlest and yet most deadly of the seven sins. Why did you let your pride get in the way, Raymond? He really needed to turn back now and ask her forgiveness. But … maybe he should give her time to calm down first? Perhaps he should carry on and meet Dembe._

Had he known what was happening back at his apartment he would have turned around immediately; but, sadly, he did not.

Instead, he met with Dembe, and the two men talked over coffee. That was a much safer drink than the alcohol he'd been consuming all night. And which had probably fueled his whole smug, self-satisfied attitude.

"Raymond, tell me what happened between the two of you. I have never seen you like this. You haven't been yourself lately, " Dembe said as they sat down at their table. "Your actions tonight …" He shook his head.

Red stared at his friend. "Dembe, I was a complete arrogant ass to her _._ And to be honest, I have no idea why. I guess I was wrapped up in the excitement of the evening." Red focused on his cup of coffee, as it was set in front of him, wishing it was a glass of scotch instead of this bitter black liquid. "And, possibly, I had too much to drink. And, also, I think, I got into character rather too much." He raised his eyes reluctantly and looked at his long-time friend.

"What do you think you're doing Raymond? Do you want to lose her?" Dembe asked after a long silence between the two. Dembe never ceased to amaze him. Always the voice of reason, knocking the sense back into him.

"Of course not. I would do anything for her, you know that, Dembe. I would even kill for her, if the need was present." Red looked at his friend, he felt a tightening in his chest, and he was trying to hold back the dam of tears that were trying to break through. He shook his head, as if that would make the tears subside. With his voice cracking he continued, "I don't want to lose her … I _can't_ lose her, Dembe. My love for Lizzie is so much stronger than it ever was for Carla, and I have no idea how that's even possible. I loved Carla with every fibre of my body. I never thought that I would love again after I lost her and Jennifer." The tears, despite his attempts to stop them, began to roll down his cheeks. _What is wrong with you, Raymond? You're more emotional than a pregnant woman. What has gotten into you? Elizabeth Milhoan, that's what, or who rather. She draws emotions to the surface that I thought I had buried, never to rise again._

"You won't lose her, Raymond, you can fix this. Let's finish up here and head back. You know where you went wrong, and you know how to make it right. I will be right there behind you," Dembe chuckled, "And I don't think she would dare throw anything if I was standing there." Red managed a watery smile to match that of friend as he finished the last of his coffee, throwing a twenty-dollar bill on the table he wiped away any trace of his tears before getting up to leave.

The two men walked in silence on the way back to the building. As they got off the elevator and approached the apartment, Red could see that the door was open. He slowed his pace as he allowed Dembe to pull his weapon and enter before him. He noticed that the jamb had been damaged and realized the door had been kicked in. Fear began to rise quickly like a tide within him, as his eyes scanned the darkened room looking for Lizzie; his eyes were only met with destruction and a trail of blood leading towards the bedroom. The floor lamp from the entry was tipped over and broken, books were strewn across the floor. _I was only gone for thirty minutes tops. What the hell happened here?_ He could hear a loud male voice yelling in the bedroom; the light from the master bedroom the only illumination in the apartment.

" _... is your precious Daddy Reddington a decent lover? I assume he can't be much of one, with how old he is. How does it feel to get screwed by a man old enough to be your father…"_

It was a familiar voice, and all at once he knew who was there. " _Shit! Tom!"_ he said under his breath and between his gritted teeth.. Red grabbed Dembe's arm, pulling him back.

"Cover me. Tom is in there with Lizzie. Let me go in first, " Red whispered.

Dembe nodded. Red took a deep breath, preparing himself, not knowing what he was going to encounter when he entered. As he crept into the doorway , he witnessed Tom making his way onto the bed where Lizzie was tied helplessly by her wrists to the headboard, his member in hand from his half opened pants. Red slowly made his way into the room, like a tiger, stalking its prey … hoping, praying, that Tom wouldn't see him there. He watched Lizzie take a deep breath and spit out, "You know what Tom, you're wrong … you're not perfect." And just as Tom raised his hand to hit her across the face, Red sprang into action picking Tom up and flinging him across the room; the force was so strong from the fall that Tom's body punched a huge hole in the drywall. Red walked over to the now limp body and picked it up, dragging it out of the bedroom.

"Tend to Lizzie, please, " Red said to Dembe through gritted teeth, as he pulled the body from the room.

He threw Tom's body towards the living room and it landed on the glass coffee table, shattering it. He pulled Tom up by his shirt and sat him in a dining chair. Then he removed his Zegna Venticinque tie and bound Tom's wrists to the back of the chair, muttering, "What a waste of a magnificent tie." He removed his jacket and vest laying them across the back of the couch, then rolled up his shirt sleeves. He stood in front of the limp body in the chair, contemplating on how to handle the situation. _Oh, what to do with you. You've caused so much chaos and destruction in your short life, and especially to Lizzie's life. I wasn't able to save her from you two years ago, but now… this will be the last time you will ever hurt her._

He started to slap him, attempting to wake him back up.

"The bully awakens, " Red snarled at Tom as he blinked back into consciousness. "I know you've been stalking Lizzie for some time now … What's the matter, can't handle a man your own size , so you have to attack and abuse women? Does that somehow make you feel good about yourself?" Red chuckled viciously, then paused for a moment. "What exactly were your plans for the evening, Tom?"

"What's it to you?" Tom spat back.

Red leaned in and punched Tom in the stomach so that he bent over a far as his bonds would let him, retching phlegm, spittle and blood.

"You think you're so tough …" Red laughed. "I asked you a question … and I **expect** an answer. I'll ask again … What exactly were your plans for the evening?"

"And tying someone up and beating them, somehow makes you better than me I suppose. In case you missed the news flash, Liz is **mine** you son of a bitch. I was paid quite well to 'love' her. And if I can't have her, then no one can, **especially** some old bastard that's old enough to be her fa…" Red cut him off, this time with a punch to the jaw that caused several teeth to go flying across the floor.

"So, she's just merchandise to you, is that it?" Red shook his head. "Yes, it's true, I'm old enough to be her father, but that's not the point here. I can assure you that she will **never** be yours … not now, not ever again. I bet your employers were not too 'keen' that she up and left you. Disappearing without the slightest trace. Says something about the spy, doesn't it. And I heard you were the 'best'. I guess not, " he mocked, shrugging his shoulders. "Has anyone ever told you that actions speak much louder than words? Lizzie's actions have spoken volumes." Red circled Tom in the chair, pulling on his hair to raise his head up again. "So, what was it that you were going to do, if you couldn't have her anymore? Speak up, Tom! I couldn't hear you."

Tom tried to lunge towards Red, pulling at his restraints. Then a devilish grin spread across his lips. "You know Reddington, I have to commend you for doing such a fantastic job of _protecting_ Liz. It's really too bad you came back so soon, because I was going to have my way with her … That's right, I was going to **rape** then **kill** her. Leave her in a mess for you to find. It's not as if you give a damn about her … I know about the night of the fire … My employer told me all about it and what you did to Liz, keeping her alive and suppressing her memories … why do you think I was hired to enter her life? I was hired to finish the job and if I delivered your head, that was an added bonus." Tom let out a hearty laugh, spitting bloody spume into Red's face.

Red pulled out his handkerchief and wiped the blood enveloped spit from his face, before landing another punch into Tom's stomach, causing the chair to fall backwards and Tom's head to slam against the wooden floor. Red discarded the cloth and stood over Tom, grabbing the front of his shirt.

"You must know I intend to kill you tonight, why else would you tell me all your dirty little secrets?" Red paused, the anger still slowly rising within him. "I want to let you in on a little secret, Tom …" he leaned down, grabbed him behind the head and whispered in his ear. "As bad as you may think I am, as far as you think I'm willing to go, to protect that which I hold most dear, you can't possibly **fathom** how deep that well of mine truly goes. I love Elizabeth Milhoan, more than you will ever know. And guess what? She loves me. Which is something you'll never understand, because you never **loved** her. And what she felt for you was never truly love because she was being deceived the whole time. She possibly cared for a persona you created. But she never loved *you*; she never loved the real you." He pulled away and continued, laughing. "You will never truly know what it means to love, or to be loved. I would do **anything** for her … including _killing_ you."

Red bent back down again and ploughed his fist into Tom's face … again and again … the blows getting harder, as his rage increased and hot tears streamed down his face; each word was emphasised by a punch: "I … love … her! You … will … NEVER … touch … her … again!"

Feeling the energy and adrenaline emptying from his body, he let go of the shirt belonging to the now mangled corpse. He didn't have to check for a pulse, he knew that he'd killed him. He rose slowly, grabbing the edge of the counter, and slumped onto the the nearby barstool, worrying his forehead with his hand, suddenly drained of all energy and emotion. It had been almost ten years since Red had felt the need to kill someone.

Red looked up to see that Dembe was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching and waiting for his orders. "Call Kate, get her here now. Have her clean this mess up, " he told Dembe, speaking quietly. "Also, please call Dr. Lauren Saunders, I need her to check Lizzie over, and clear her for flying. I want the necessary arrangements made to transfer Lizzie to the Hirslanden Hospital in Switzerland." Dembe nodded, and pulled out his phone to make the calls. Red stood up and waited for the feeling to come back into his legs before heading to the bedroom. He entered slowly making his way to the bed, sitting down next to her and caressing her hand, which appeared to be the only un-bruised part of her body. The dam of tears rupturing again as he gazed upon her battered face. " _I'm so sorry, Lizzie. I feel so responsible for all of this. If only I had taken care of Tom two years ago, you wouldn't be lying here like this. I_ _ **promised**_ _that I wouldn't let_ _ **anything**_ _happen to you … I promised… And I failed, "_ he whispered to her.


	14. Apologies

Dembe laid a hand on Red's shoulder, waking him from his nap. He'd pulled a chair up next to the bed and had been holding Lizzie's hand when he inadvertently fell asleep. He looked down at his hand and saw that she'd intertwined her fingers in between his own while he slept. He never wanted to leave her side again.

"Raymond, Saunders has arrived, and Kate and her crew have just about finished cleaning the rest of the apartment. As soon as the doctor is done, Kate will clean up in here as well."

"How long was I asleep, Dembe?"

"Not long. Maybe an hour at the most."

"Bring Saunders in," Red said quietly. He straightened himself up and stood as the doctor entered. "Lauren, thank you for coming on such short notice. I presume I can rely on your customary discretion. "

"Of course Raymond." She set her bag down and gave Red a hug, then looked past him at Lizzie on the bed. "Oh, my … what happened to this poor girl?" she said in a shocked tone, immediately checking for a pulse.

"Her ex decided to … 'send a message'. She is still … alive. But only because Dembe and I returned in time," Red cringed at the harsh reality of his own words. "I need to know … is she going to be alright?" He couldn't keep the tremor out of his voice. "What the extent of her injuries are, and whether she is stable enough to endure a long flight. Her name is Elizabeth." His voice wobbled again. "I call her Lizzie."

"Give me some time, and I'll let you know, " Saunders replied, pulling out her equipment out of her bag and preparing to get to work.

The doctor carefully woke Lizzie up just enough to began her assessment. Red paced, as she looked her patient over trying to assess her the best she could without hurting her more than was necessary.

"Hi, Elizabeth. I'm Dr. Lauren Saunders. I need to take a look at you. Is that ok with you?" Lizzie opened her eyes, and looked up groggily. She nodded, and with the doctor's careful assistance managed to sit up on the edge of the bed with the blanket around her shoulders. "Raymond, your incessant pacing is not going to help me in the least, nor will it make this go any faster. Go and grab a drink to calm your nerves, " Saunders chastised him with gentle understanding.

Red begrudgingly left the bedroom and walked to the kitchen, where Kate and Dembe were sitting. He poured himself a glass of scotch and sat at the breakfast bar listening while Kate talked.

"Raymond, I was telling Dembe that I've had the body arranged for disposal. It will look like he had a car accident landing in the East River, if he's ever found, he will be 'sleeping with the fishes' when all's said and done. After the accident, a missing person's police report will be filed with our man, Charlie. It's some of my better work, if I do say so myself, " she said, smiling proudly.

"Thank you Kate. And what about the Lucy girl?" Red questioned.

"She will be taken care of as well, if you'd like. Or do you just want her paid off?" Kate asked. "There's still the chance that she's connected to the Clandestine Company, just as Keen was; and if she is, we have no way of knowing what she is capable of, or what she knows. She may come back around asking questions or causing trouble later."

"Take care of her, make it look like another version of Tom's accident; hell put them in there together. They were sleeping together anyway, they might as well lie side by side in the river together, " Red chuckled grimly, taking a sip of his golden liquid.

"Raymond, I have to say that … this incident with Keen and now the Brooks girl, this is pushing you in ways I don't like, " Kate said, hesitantly.

" **Don't,** start with me Kate, " Red retorted back. "I'll handle my business, you handle yours." He sat there for a moment, seeing in her face the hurt that he had caused his colleague. "Kate, I'm sorry. I'm out on the far end of the limb here." He stood and placed his hand gently on her shoulder, "Please, forgive me."

Kate grabbed his hand and held it. "Take a moment dear, go read a book, take a hot shower. Elizabeth is safe now. It will take time, but she will heal. Her body of course will heal faster than her mind will …" Kate's words were cut short by Dr. Saunders calling for Red from the doorway of the bedroom.

Saunders stepped into the hall, closing the door behind her as she began sharing her assessment of Lizzie. "Well, here is what I see: her pupils are equal and reactive … she has several broken ribs … no collapsed lung, which is a good sign… she has a concussion, and may require stitches to the cuts on her face … her nose is definitely broken … she may have some hairline fractures to her arms or legs, but without x-rays, I can't determine that for certain … there is also no spinal injury, so she is able to be moved or transported." She paused before continuing, "Raymond, I have a difficult question to ask? Do you know if she was raped? From the examination and tests I've conducted, I see no obvious signs of it. But I feel it is my duty to ask because there are, obviously, further tests that would need to be done to check for infections … and it would affect my advice regarding further and follow-up treatment." Red was starting to get nauseated at the thought of what all Tom had in fact done to Lizzie. However, he did feel that he could reassure the doctor about one thing that Tom had **not** raped Lizzie.

"No, I'm fairly certain she wasn't. I came in just as he was climbing on top of her. I managed to get him off of her before he did anything else." Red swallowed hard, wishing he could run bleach through his mind to erase those images; they would be forever engrained in his brain.

"She appears to be stable. She needs to have a scan of her head done as soon as possible though. She may have minor bleeding on the brain, however I don't see any signs of that.. I assessed what I could in regards to her cognitive function and her vitals seem to be in line with her injuries. She's a very lucky girl, very strong. I've had cases that were not nearly as bad as this, and the patients were sitting at death's door. I have no idea what he used to beat her with, or if it was just his brute strength, but she is going to be every color of the rainbow when this is all said and done. Oh, and I though you should know, she kept muttering random words during the exam, I could only make out 'Raymond' and 'sorry', " Saunders said, as she finished writing her assessment.

"Is she cleared to fly then? We plan on heading straight to a private hospital, but it will be a long flight."

"Well ... like I said, her vitals are slightly abnormal, but given the situation and the condition her body is in, she shouldn't have a problem flying, as long as we get that scan of her head as soon as we arrive at our destination. If it's alright with you, I would like to stay with her for the flight. I will bring some of medical equipment just to be on the safe side, " Saunders said.

"That's fine, speak with Dembe, he will take you wherever you need to go to gather your supplies, I want to be in the air by eight a.m., so that gives you four hours." Red beckoned to Dembe, but before the doctor left, Red questioned, "Lauren, can I get her cleaned up, I don't know how much longer I can stand to look at her like this."

"Yes, of course. I know that you will be gentle, so I don't need to give you that disclaimer. Good night, Raymond." The doctor left, leaving him to tend to Lizzie. He walked back into the bedroom and gazed down at her broken body. He wanted so badly to just wash away all of the bruises, cuts, and pain.

He leaned over and kissed her gently on her head, caressing her tattered hair. He went into the bathroom, started the rainfall shower and undressed to his undershirt and boxers. Making sure that he had everything that he needed to bathe her, he returned to the bedroom and gently peeled back the blanket and picked her up, holding her delicately like a newborn baby, as he carried her into the shower. He sat on the bench and cradled her in his lap, allowing the gentle stream to fall on her battered body. He rocked her, weeping bitterly into her hair. She made quiet mewling noises as he rocked her.

"Shh, my dear sweet Lizzie. I've got you now. No one is going to hurt you ever again. Lizzie … sweetheart …" he whispered in between muffled sobs.

After what felt like an eternity, he reached for the washcloth and gently began to clean the blood from her face, then moved on on to washing her hair running his fingers carefully through the tangled strands until they were all separated, and then he finally bathed the rest of her body the best he could without causing her further discomfort. As he washed her, he assessed every inch of her body, examining every bruise and contusion. Committing them all to memory. He would never forgive himself for allowing this to happen to her.

Finally, he sat her down on the bench as he turned the water off and grabbed an oversized towel to dry her with. After wrapping her up, he carried her back to the bedroom, where Kate had already cleaned up , stripped and remade the bed with fresh linens and laid out clean clothes for Lizzie. He settled her on the bed, dried her off and proceeded to find some clothes for himself before dressing her. As he was fastening the buttons on her pajama top, she awakened more fully, looking up to meet his eyes.

"Hello, Lizzie, " he said, his voice barely above a whisper. A loud moan escaped from her lips as she threw her arms around his neck. He picked her up and sat back down on the bed cradling and rocking her, like a child. "Shhh, Lizzie… I'm here now, you're safe again."

"Red … I'm … I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me for getting angry," her words staggering from her lips, as she began to sob.

"Lizzie, you have nothing to be sorry for. I was the ass. I can't ever be sorry enough." He ran his hands up and down her back, trying to calm her. "Sweetheart ... I need you to know … look at me, dear …" He pulled away just enough to look down at her, and ensure that she was coherent enough to fully take in what he wanted to say. "Lizzie, I love you! And I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I hope that you can forgive me someday, but for now, know that I love you, and I will do whatever I feel I have to do to keep you safe." He felt her lean in against his neck, and he heard a pained mewl slip from her lips. "Let's finish getting you dressed and laid back down. Dembe will be back soon with the doctor and then we can leave. I hope to be in the air within the next few hours."

She looked up at him, confused. "In the air? Fly? Where am I going? Ah! my head!"

" **We** are going to Switzerland, where you can recover peacefully. I promised after the show we would go away, and you said you wanted to go to Switzerland, so that's where we'll go. Just rest for now, my dear." He laid her back down on the bed, finished getting her dressed and tucked her into the bed, placing kisses on her head. Just as he started to turn to leave, she grabbed his hand.

"Red …" she was speaking softly and he leaned in to hear what she was trying to say. "Red… Raymond … I… I love you, too."

His eyes grew misty, and he stroked her cheek. "I know sweetheart, I know. Now sleep." He slipped out of the bedroom.

"Kate, I'm leaving you in charge of everything until I return. Feel free to call whenever you need to. Don't worry about a new production; just have Ressler continue with the children's theatre. That should buy me some time until we can come back." Red rested his hand on Kate's shoulder. "I trust that you can handle everything."

She covered his hand with her own."Of course, Raymond. Go, and take care of Elizabeth. Take all the time you need. I will handle everything here."


	15. Zurich

Red was relieved when Dembe and the doctor returned in under two hours. He wanted to get out of New York as soon as possible. The four of them made their way to the airstip where Red's private jet was waiting on the tarmac. Dembe loaded the plane while Red carried Lizzie to her seat and strapped her in for take off. Soon they were in the air and on their way to Zurich. Dembe had set up the pull out bed so Red could sleep next to Lizzie, as the flight would take about eight hours.

After take off, Red arranged Lizzie on the little bed and cradled her in his arms. He managed to catch a few hours of restless sleep; the images of Lizzie being attacked, and not being able to do anything to help, continually played through his mind. Lizzie must have been having bad dreams as well, because she woke up screaming, snapping him awake. He caressed her back and hair, trying to provide whatever comfort he could, until she fell back to sleep. He was so scared to touch her, for fear that he would hurt her further, the bruises on her face were becoming more and more vivid in color so he dreaded to think what the rest of her body was beginning to look like underneath her pyjamas.

After only a seven-hour flight they landed at the Zurich Airport and then Dembe drove them, the short twenty-minute distance to the medical facility. Red was fond of the beautiful Hirslanden Hospital. It was one of only a handful of hospitals that was completely private. Unlike those in the States, he knew that he could have absolute control over Lizzie's care, if the need arose and she couldn't make those decisions for herself. The facility would cater to their every need. He'd been here a handful of times in the past for various treatments for either himself or members of his team.

The gorgeous white building sat nestled between Lake Zurich and the lush green forests of the countryside. Red watched as Lizzie's eyes grew wider with every turn, the colours of the trees and foliage had started to turn ; the rich, vibrant reds, oranges and yellows of the Fall foliage were the brightest he'd seen in years. He hoped that she wouldn't be cooped up too long inside. He wanted to show her the sights and have her indulge in the finest cheeses and chocolates. And he would have to take her to the Audrey Hepburn Museum as soon as she was able to venture out.

By the time they arrived the sun had already almost set behind the mountains, but the massive floor to ceiling windows allowed the picturesque sky, filled with oranges, yellows and reds, to illuminate the entire room. Their suite was on the top floor of the building and even Red was amazed by the breathtaking view of the lake that could be seen from this height. They were greeted by the all female staff that Dembe had arranged to tend to Lizzie for the time being. The chipper nurses met her with open arms and got her settled into bed.

Along one side of the room was a fold out bed for guests, and on the opposite side was the patient's full sized bed. There was a small table with two chairs, as well as a petite desk with a leather office chair. Each room in the hospital was private and modern, mimicking the look and feel of a hotel suite, and had its own nursing staff. There were hard wood floor instead of sterile tile, and the windows had sheer cream and yellow drapes.

As Dembe brought in their things and started to place them in the drawers, Red watched as Lizzie looked around, taking in the room. "Isn't it lovely, Lizzie? I've been here a few times in the past. In fact, the last time I was here …" he chuckled nervously. "I had just been in an ugly skiing accident. I was in Graubunden on business, and Dembe insisted that we go to the Arosa Ski Resort. The views were absolutely breathtaking, and at night you could see millions of stars. That night was a rather rare occurrence as well, you could see part of the Aurora Borealis. When we hit the slopes, he took me to one of the more 'advanced' hills. Well, needless to say, I ended up here with my leg broken in four places; I'm not as young as I once was. I refuse to go skiing with that man ever again." As Dembe laughed Red sneered, "It's not funny! That leg kills when it rains now. But, I will definitely have to take you there Lizzie, even if it's just for the night sky, perhaps we will have the luxury of witnessing those northern lights again. I think they still do the hot air balloon rides as well." He glanced over and saw that Lizzie appeared to be only half awake, lying curled up on her side. He didn't think his voice was soothing enough to put her to sleep. He sat on the side of the bed and softly rubbed her back as they waited for the doctor to arrive.

Dr. Kaiser knocked softly and walked in, talking while her nose was buried in the reports that Saunders had provided. "Ok, Elizabeth … I see here that you have a laundry list of ..." Her words cut off and Red saw her do a double take when she looked up, her eyes meeting his. "Raymond! What a wonderful surprise. It's so nice to see you again. Did you finally settle yourself down?" The doctor said, greeting Red with a hug.

"Mikayla, it's always a pleasure. I would like to introduce the beautiful Elizabeth Milhoan." Mikayla reached out to shake Lizzie's hand.

"Elizabeth, it's a great pleasure to meet you. We are going to take the very best care of you. You couldn't be in a better place. Now, I can see that you have been through quite a bit in the last twenty-four hours, but we need to run some tests to ensure that there is no internal organ damage and that there is no bleeding on your brain. Dr. Saunders has done an excellent job with her notes and assessment, so I will spare you an additional exam." She paused for a moment to allow Lizzie to process the information. "Elizabeth, tell me, have you been experiencing any headaches or confusion since the incident?"

"Yes, I've had a horrible headache since we left New York. And the room won't stop spinning. It's making me quite nauseous. I just figured it was from the trauma and stress. I was really hoping that it would have subsided by now."

"Hmm. I was afraid of that." She took Lizzie's hands and instructed her to squeeze as hard as she could. Then she asked Lizzie several questions about her vision. "I want to get her down for a CT scan as soon as possible. Elizabeth, rest while I get the orders ready. Raymond, may I speak with you?" The two walked out into the hallway. "Raymond, I fear there may be some bleeding in her brain. She is very weak, and the headaches are concerning, so is her vision. I read in the notes that there was trauma to the back of her head. My initial diagnosis is that the swelling of the occipital lobe caused by the trauma is pushing against the temporal lobe. This is why we are seeing the headaches and vision issues. She may become confused. If there is a subdural hematoma, depending on its severity, we will have to operate. Judging by her current state, I'm hoping, worst-case scenario, that a simple drain should take care of it. I will take the very best care of her, Raymond, I promise. We should be able to get her down for the CT scan within the next few minutes. Let me put these orders in, and the nurse should be right in to take her down. You can come with her if you would like." Mikayla patted Red on the shoulder as he nodded.

Red reentered the room, Lizzie was curled up in a ball on the bed now, and he resumed his spot on the edge of the bed, rubbing her back. "The nurse should be here shortly, and we will go down for your scan."

Within ten minutes a short, round nurse came bouncing in and took them down for the scan. She explained afterwards that Dr. Kaiser would look at the scans and meet them back in her room.

About an hour after the test Mikayla came in with the news. "Well the slightly bad news is that there is some bleeding, but the good news is, first, it's not as bad as I thought and it can be remedied with a simple drain tube inserted through a couple of holes that we can easily drill into the skull. We need to do surgery now. I don't want to see this bleed get out of control. Elizabeth, do you understand what is going on, and how we need to fix the issues?" Mikayla asked, while also assessing Lizzie's cognitive functions.

Lizzie looked at Red, like a confused child. "Red? I don't understand. What's wrong with me? Why are we here? Where are we? And why does my head hurt so badly?"

"Lizzie, you have a bruise on your brain, and bleeding, from Tom's attack. The doctor wants to put a tube inside to get rid of the blood so it doesn't get worse." Red tried to explain, looking at her to see if she understood any better. He was beginning to feel helpless to aid her and his heart had dropped like a stone at every word the doctor had said. Surely Lizzie couldn't be sick like that? The sudden worry was clenching at his stomach.

"Raymond, we need to move quickly, I fear it's getting worse the longer we wait, " Mikayla said with urgency.

Lizzie sat up, cuddling up next to Red. "Alright. Lizzie, look at me. We're going to make you all better, okay? I'll stay with you as long as I can, and I'll be right there when everything's done." He kissed her as softly and as passionately as he could. "I love you sweetheart, we will get through this." He looked up at Mikayla and nodded.

"Raymond, normally, this procedure requires a general anesthetic, but I want to put her into a medically induced coma to relieve the stress on her system. I can tell that her body has been through so much already. If you consent to do this, she will come back from surgery on a ventilator. We will monitor her very closely, and the moment that the bleeding is gone, we will bring her out of the coma. I truly feel this is the best course of action."

Red looked at Lizzie, tears were streaming down her face. "I'll be here the whole time. You have nothing to fear, my dear." Red signed the necessary consenting paperwork, and Mikayla and her team got the operating room setup. Just before they wheeled her through Dembe stopped them.

"Raymond. Do you mind if we pray before Lizzie leaves?" Dembe asked.

"Of course, my brother. Lizzie? Is that alright with you?"

She nodded, and the three joined hands in a small prayer circle.

Dembe began reciting two different healing prayers over Lizzie.

 _Allah-humma adhhib il-ba's, Raab Al-naas, washfi anta Al-Shaafi laa shifaaA illa shifaa'uka shifaaAn laa yughaadiru saqaman._

 _Rabbuna-Allahu-laazi fiss-sama-ee, taqaddas asmuk, amruk fiss-samaa-ee wal-ardi, kama rahmatuk fiss-samaa-ee faj'al-rahmatak fil-ard, ighfirlana, hao-bana, wa-khata-yana, anta rabbul-tayyibeen, anzil rahmatan min rahmatik wa shifaa-an, min shifaa-ika ala haadal-waja', fayabra-aa._

In unison, Red and Dembe began a final prayer:

 _Qul huwal laahu ahad;_

 _Allah hus-samad;_

 _Lam yalid wa lam yoolad;_

 _Wa lam yakul-lahu fufuwan ahad_

Dembe placed a gentle kiss to her forehead as the nurse came to take Lizzie down. Red walked beside her bed the entire way, and was in the room with her right up until they began to put her under. " _I love you, Lizzie, sweet dreams ... I will be waiting for you,_ " was the last thing he hoped she heard him say, before they put her completely to sleep.

 _-Fin-_

 _Oh, yes I am well aware of the cliffhanger that I have left this on. Please note that there is another part (and hopefully several others) to this series, and we will pick up right where I have left off here. Thank you for all of your support, love and comments! I love you all! 3_


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